Scared of the Vicar

I phoned the vicar yesterday who will be doing our wedding ceremony and it was absolutely terrfying. I had heard that he was a bit of a cool dude but he came across a bit scary on the phone. It might have been that I was nervous he might ask me loads of 'am i religious' type questions. But he didn't. In actual fact he asked us to come and see him and to bring out birth and baptism certificates. I didn't even know i had one of these but my Dad duly informs me that I do somewhere. God knows where though (oh shit took the lords name in vain there...). I had a chat with Nick's Mum and she was so calm and reasonable about it all that I felt loads better afterwards.

Oh! Also had a long chat to Leni last night for the first time in, like, AGES. I really miss her & Tigs. I think she's coming to my hen weekend which is brilliant. Also I think Fi Fi la Boner is coming, plus my sis, hopefully Tiggy, Katy G, Holly & Denise of course. So including me there will be 8 which is just enough for a nice weekend but hopefully not too many to make it awkward for Den. Its so nice of her to let me use her house for my friends. So YAY YAY YAY I'd better look into booking flights.

PS Also Catherine is coming too, so that's 9. Can't believe I forgot and let her off the list, am such a crap friend. Cat is you are reading this it is only cos you said yes ages ago and everyone else was crap and didn't tell me til just now and I can only think in the present tense.

Yep

I'm back to SheRa again folks, got a little sick of the Klimt tree.

For the Honour of Greyskull, and all that.

Thems nice people

The nice folk at Wave telecom have just swapped over my stupid stupid mobile which I bought last week and was a complete disaster... no questions asked just a brand spanking new phone in a shiny new box.

I think the young guy in the shop was terrified that my big 80's hair was going to eat him alive.

I tried on loads of pairs of shoes in Dorothy Perkins before realising that I had a skanky toenail and I was probably putting the poor saleswoman off her lunch by revealing it in all its glory. I want some summery work shoes that aren't black and boring, and are comfy but with a couple of inches of heel, maybe a wedge type heel that I can zoom around in but are also sexy and alluring... is that too much to ask??? Jones have some cutie dark turquoise ones with a little mary jane strap across the front but I was on my way back wo work and didn't have time to try them. Unfortunately these flat pump style shoes look awful on my big size 7 spades.

Ho hum

Ahh, I actually have nothing much to say today. I have been doing more DIY and selling houses, or doing viewings at least. My hair for some reason is really BIG today and I feel very 80's. Talking of 80's they were playing the Thundercats theme song on Radio 1 this morning which made me want to watch it.

My cousin's cat Ebony was run over on Monday night which is a bit horrific. She was a lovely black cat and used to sit on top of fridge because she was nervous of their dog, Archie. She was very affectionate and always had time for a little purr and if you sat down she would love to come and sit on your lap. Anyway, she got hit by a car and that's that. My cousin had 2 little boys who are a bit young to really get it but the littlest one said that her batteries had run out. I think that's so sweet. I am trying to persuade my cousin that she needs to get a new cat from the rescue centre but I don't think they are going to do anything for a while. They so live on a bit of a busy road so its difficult.

Nick made me dinner last night because he got home before me. I love it when I get cooked for. it was a pasta bake and he used too much sauce so it was like pasta soup but it was delicious still so mmmmmmmmmmm. Tonight I have to go round my cousin's because she's giving me Ebony's scratching post and then I have to go round my Dad's girlfriends to drop off some post.

I chucked a big glass of red wine on the sofa last night, which was 50/50 mine and Nick's fault... I had it in my hand and he flipped his arm back to pass me some dairy milk (crunchie variety)and its all went horrible wrong. So I whipped off the sofa covers and also all of my clothes which were all splattered and chucked it straight into the machine and hey presto! Not a stain left on aything. The trick is to deal with it IMMEDIATELY. Then I realised I was very cold.

Alien Vs Predator

I see the scriptwriters conversation for this film going something like this...
(NB it helps to imagine them talking like Beavis & Butthead)

"Hey, huh huh huh, urrr, I have a great idea for a movie. We could get the evil evil Aliens from, um, Alien with the big nashy teeth and the acid blood. They were like COOL and stuff. Then you know that other film with Arnold Schwartzneggerwegg where he's like all commando in the jungle all sweaty fighting the dreadlocky nasty invisible dude? Well we could make them have a big WWF style fight..."

"Sounds cool, maybe for a video game more than a movie though..."

"No way, I see big screen for this one baby! We could put them together, say, uh, in a huge underground stone vault, ummm, under a thousand tons of ice at the North Pole, and throw in a few stranded people who haven't got a clue what's going. It'd be GREAT I tell you, genius!"

"Yeah! And we could boobytrap the vault into a death trap, and we should SO get that mother alien that the bald woman fights with the forklift in it somehow as well!"

"Yeah! Huh huh, cool. Smack down!!"

Actually, I have to say I did enjoy this film, I watched it last night and it is very funny. I wanted the aliens to win though and they didn't. And what a twist that the predator makes friends with the Hally-Berry lookalike! Genius. In a kind of excited teenage boy type of way.

I'm just trying a rooboish and vanilla tea for the first time and its nice but a tad sickly. Not as good as the rooboish/earl grey one which is manna from heaven.

The Apprentice tonight! Yay more telly that I like! We missed last weeks and tried to watch it last night on the laptop but it kept freezing every few minutes and buffering. So it took about 2 hours to watch rather than the normal one. How irritating.

Off to a viewing in a minute, a second viewing in fact on a nice house. I'm wearing my pink scarf today which will bring me sales.... maybe.

Animal humour...

this made me laugh, but not as much as this which actually made me nearly sick, especially the last one. Hello Long Johnson....

Yeah but no but yeah but

Oh god am feeling spaced out again today. You wouldn't have thought I haven't had a toot since before Christmas. I must say this non smoking malarky doesn't seem to have changed my mind/body in any discernable physical way at all. Well, it must be all internal. My lungs are probably like two fresh meadow fields by now.

Another weekend of DIY, punctuated by a large hangover on Sunday. I managed to get a whopping amount of painting done, but it felt like groundhog day because I had to do a few coats and I was going around and around the room in circles... I might go round there tonight and do some glossing of doors and pipes. So, we managed to drag ourselves out on Saturday night to town, went to the lovely Penny's flat first and she made an absolute vat of lasagne. Mmm, haven't had lasagne for ages I might cook it this week becuase it was gorgeous. Then it all went downhill in the form of Red Onion and Club 54. Well at least we got into the club for free cos it was a pile of wank. As usual. We stopped off for cocktails at Bamboo, I had a Long Island Ice Tea that tasted like a very pleasant run and coke.

We spent last night making our wedding website! Now that the invitations have (mostly) gone out we sent everyone a little card with the web address on it so they can have a look. It's really for people coming across from the UK. Nick did most of it and a lot of the text is palmed off a local tourist website. All the stuff about Guernsey as we really don't know that much about where we live. I wrote the 'The Day' bit though. That's my handywork. I am also writing the hotels bit which isn't on there yet but should be tonight. Sorry if its all a bit cheesy, Nick really writes like a travel rep. I think it's from his job training you see.

Oh Fuck it I'm too tired to do any DIY tonight. I'm going to go shopping and cook a lasagne and do ironing. And mebbe watch a few hours of telly. ahhhh I can't wait. There's no point making myself miserable by slogging my guts out round there. When its done its done. I wish I was clever enough to put some photos of it on the internet. If I steal my work camera I might be able to... Be nice to show what I get up to every weekend.

PS the sun has come out and its making me verrry sleepy...

Ooooh

Sorry, two glasses of wine and I turn into a twat. That is all. Umm, just come back from the wonderful Mallard cinema, yes it's named after a duck. V for Vendetta? V for Vubbish I'm sorry to say I found really like a too awful knowing rehash of 1984 but with current political issues and focusing on how paranoid Britain is... OK fair enough its good to illustrate to people what might possibly happen if we continue to live our relatively sanitised lives but it reaaaaally dragged in the middle bit. And we never got to see the phantom of the opera! How sucky is that. Is it bad that I fancied Natalie Portman?

oh apparentely we have Rew to stay tonight, Rew has just found out that I have a blog, I think he thinks its a bit weird. I admitted that it takes a certain amount of vanity to think that folk might want to read what I think all the time every day but. The Day Today is SO funny, even funnier than Alan Partrifge if I put myself out on a limb. Police have just cordoned a man in Piccadilly who may have eaten an explosive dog and he is backed by Sein Fein. You have to be here.

I felt like an insane person when I was driving home from the cinema on my own tonight. I had the scissor sisters on really loud and it was raining really heavily and the windscreen wipers were on fast. It was like Ride of the Valkyries but to Take your Mama.

More wedding stuff I'm afraid

So, my excuse being that something is better than nothing at all, but in all honesty my life is BORING or BORGING as I just misspelt then corrected. Yes, I'm actually an alien out of Star Trek... Enough geekiness. So anyhow, I thought I would just tell you how my wedding planning has been going.

On monday night the photographer came round with his missus and we talked through what we are going to do on the day. They basically want to stick to us like glue and make a documentary style wedding album with lots of informal shots (as well as the obligatory Churchy ones) and as it's Herm there should be lots of ideal locations to take pretty pictures. They stayed at our house for like TWO hours and I hadn't had any tea so I lost my concentration towards the end of it as I'd drank some wine on an empty stomach... But they said we can have a CD of the photos so we can do what we want with them afterwards and there will also be a website.

Yesterday I met the florist to talk through the flowers, she was lovely. She basically said I have to tell her exactly what I want becuase she can prety much do anything. So I am all head scratchy cos I don't know. We can't have peonies though cos they are only around in the Spring, but I can have ranunculus and pink lilies. Yay, they are so pretty.

I want to go to Southampton for a hen weekend, I've emailed some friends to see if they want to come and so far only 3 have emailed back which is a bit poo. Hopefully I will get around 7 - 8 girls over there, then I can also have a Guernsey hen party nearer the day. The Soton one wil be about a month before.

Coaches. I've booked coaches. And I've hired the balloon people as well. I now need to think about proper wedding cars, I want to have something really cool but I'm not sure what.

In other news, I have just eaten a massive slab of birthday cake so I'm not going to buy any lunch today. I'm just going to have fruit and hopefully not feel too guilty.

My friends wedding

And I have a mini me! Now I can take over the world.


Smoochy coochy, I like this one.

Bit of an Anticlimax

Well, 100 posts, that makes me an official long term blogger I guess. What lofty heights can I head for now though?

I've been a bit shit with the blogging since then I know but really, not much going on here and I'd rather not be boring. Umm, DIY DIY DIY, all weekend and also on Monday and Tuesday night, and also tonight. So that IS my life at the moment. I tiled and grouted our fireplace surround and painted the bathroom ceiling. Tonight I may paint the awkward ceilingy bit behind our tall kitchen cabinets. Ho hum. Work is still quite mega busy and I should be doing something now but sod it. I've sold a few houses and flats over the last week and my boss has said I can have the 2 days off before my wedding as a 'gift' which is so sweet of him, all is forgiven.

My cat is definitely better and so am I after the illness of the last couple of weeks. And I'm still not smoking since New Years Eve. That's nearly three months now. I don't miss it now either. (smug smug grin grin)

100th Post!

I have the royal seal to prove it. What a waste of time/fascinating study of my life!*

(*delete as appropriate)

Got to love this film

So, I've now watched this three times, and the special features twice. Bit of a geek aren't I. But then again I loved Buffy so I guess there's no hope.

Seriously I would recommend this film though, and not only me, it's Film 2005's film of the year so nah nah and all that.

Molly is eating again! Not much but it's a start and she was miowing as usual outside the bedroom door this morning, so I think she is over whatever it was that made her ill. Hooray!!

Meh

Am still a bit full of snot and Nick's still off work. Molly seemed slightly chirpier today although still not 100%, she has eaten a little food. Her blood test results are all clear which is brilliant. I just want my little black cat back.

My Dad's not likely to read this so I can tell you that I bought him a mahogany wall clock and a book called the Timewaster Letters which is pure genius, he's gonna love it. I also went to FatFace in my lunch hour and bought a few wicked little things for Julia who is leaving tomorrow and is off to live in Koh Samui, the lucky lady. FatFace is her favourite shop she's a bit of a surfer chick. We also had to pay our plasterer £850 which is a bit of a knock but we were expecting it. And Nick's making a website for people coming over from England for our wedding, its brilliant.

That's all my news for now. Sorry its just like bullet points isn't it, my life in brief... I guess. Let me try to think of something a bit more interesting to say. Umm, I spent 4 years at Art College, yes, there you go. I can draw. I did a fine art degree and specialised in multi media and time based art. I wrote a thesis on Rene Magritte, Ceci n'est pas une pipe. I also spent a year doing Art Foundation, and did A Levels in Art & Design, Ancient History and Religious Studies. I like to think of myself as an intellectual but in truth I don't read/learn enough to keep up to scratch. I spent about 8 years being very hippy/goth complete with leather/pvc/black lipstick and scary London clubs but at heart I'm not scary I just liked the bassy music. Since I've been with Nick this has died off as he's more into Harry Connick Jnr & Norah Jones than Marilyn Manson and Tura Satana. I still have a lot of love in my heart for that sort of thing though and truly if Nick hadn't come along I would probably still be in biker boots and tie dye. But I love him so there you go. I have quite a big family but my Mum died when I was 11 so my Dad brought me & my sister up.

There I think that's quite enough personal information, I have to remember this is t'internet and there could be all sorts of strange bods reading this. Ok probably not but you never know.

Sick kitty

Oh no oh no oh no. Things haven't been so good lately. I still have the illness although I am back at work now, sniffing quietly at my desk. Nick has caught it, as was to be expected really and he has taken today off sick to recover. With his job he has to be in top condition so they are pretty good and sent him home yesterday when they could see he was clearly not feeling up to scratch.

And I don't know if its related but our cat isn't very well either. She hasn't eaten for 4 days and has absolutely no energy which is very unusual. She is normally miowing at my bedroom door when my alarm goes off but she's just been sleepy on the sofa every day and not hungry. So this morning Nick took her to our vet and the vet gave her a bloodtest which Nick said was really horrible. For a start Nick had to hold her while they stuck the big needle in her front leg and he got her blood all on his arm. Then because she is so little (most people assume she is a kitten) they couldn't get much blood out and she was clearly in pain and screeching while it was being done. I don't know why I'm relaying this all in detail because it just is upsetting me, don't be cynical I know she is only a cat but the thought of her being in pain is just horrific.

Anyway the vet says it might be her kidneys and we have to try to get her to drink more so I'm going to go to M&S in my lunch hour and buy a pot of cream and mix that with water in the hope that she will be tempted. She won't even eat tuna which is normally her favourite. If she dies I will just fall apart, I know it.

In other news, the wedding planning is coming along, won't bore you with details but I spoke to a few people on Monday and it was quite productive. I watched the Aviator last night which is a terrific film but peters out towards the end and it a bit too long. And i still haven't found a present for my Dad and its his birthday in 2 days time. SHIT.

Aaatch Poo

I've taken the day off work. The recurrence of the icky throat and deep scratchy voicebox has ensured me a day of TV and sofadom.

Having just watched Big Cook Little Cook I am now sat in front of Postman Pat. The joys of childrens TV are all consuming. Molly was trying to sit on the laptop (its nice and warm) but having been shooed off she now has her back to me in a missus sulkyhead mode.

Well, I am planning to sort out some wedding bits and pieces. I've emailed the guy who runs the hotel in Herm to get this years menus and wine list and I'm planning to phone the vicar, flower woman and coach people too. Might as well make the most of the day and I haven't exactly got anything else pressing to do.

I foolishly went out on Saturday night, remember how I told you I wasn't looking forward to it? Well we started off with a ginormous meal in the Red Onion, then went for drinks at the Golden Lion. There was a rocky type band playing so we had to shout somewhat, then I made my way up to the Cornerstone, by which point my voice had disintigrated into husky painful whimpering, I sounded proper ridiculous. Basically walked into the Cornerstone to be confronted by everyone-I-have-ever-met-in-Guernsey. Literally the whole island was in there that I have met and am friends with plus a few old faces I haven't seen for years. so they all got to see me at my most ill and pathetic. Eventually Rachel Goddess of Niceness took pity and drove me home, but then I couldn't get inside cos Nick's Dad had left the key in the inside of the door so I had to walk round and bang on the window and wake him up to let me in.

ooh! Fireman Sam!

So yesterday I just stayed in front of the telly, Rachel came round and we watched Serenity and ate nachos. In the evening my Dad had us round for a yummy roast. Maggie made chocolate blancmange (thanks anonymous!) which looked like a big wobbly boobie but tasted quite nice, in a weird chocolate-mousse sort of way.

More ramblings

I really want to buy loads of stuff at the moment on Amazon. There's Ico, Shadow of the Colossus, Katamari, Corrine Bailey Rae CD, the Firefly series and a billion other things. Shame I'm skint this month, I've been naughty and bought Serenity on DVD which I'm wildly excited about.

God my throat feels like it's full of little razorblades today. The cold went away mid week but came back yesterday with a renewed vengeance. We went for a meal out which I couldn't even enjoy last night, bah what a waste.

Nicks Dad is over this weekend to help us with DIY and I've got to go to two leaving do's tonight, when what I really want is to eat a bowl of chicken soup and watch TV wrapped in a big duvet. Well at least I have a healthy social life which I am very grateful for, after moving around so much in the UK where I really literally didn't know anyone and we had to try really hard to make friends I certainly appreciate the circle we have here in Guernsey. I remember especially when we lived in Plymouth and Nick was living in Truro Mon-Fri for six months, I was such a solitary little bean back then.

I'm in work right now, it's one of the quiestest Saturday's in record. Just two phone calls so far, and one of them was a work colleague who's out on the road who was also bored and phoned for a chat. It's good I don't have to talk much as I'm speaking in a low husky whisper today. People might think I'm a pervert. I've had two cups of tea, it might be time for a blackcurrant lemsip soon.

It's my Dad's birthday mext week, if anyone has any ideas what to get a fussy 59 year old who has already has everything he could possibly want, do please let me know.

I wish I could knit

Because I would knit one of these for Molly, my stressed little mimsy.

Whatya gonna Do

With all that junk
All that junk inside that trunk

my hump my hump my hump
my lovely ladee lumps
.....................................................................

Pass the duchy to the left hand side

Feel free to have either or these two songs trapped inside your head. I wouldn't want to be alone.