Big catch up

OK then! Lots to tell you today. I'm back at work, luckily it's fairly quiet, I've got no appointments until 3pm and my boss's flight back from Austria was delayed so he's not coming in until tomorrow, which is great. I needn't have rushed back at all. My flight landed 2 hours ago so I've just been at home to get changed and straight into work. Soooo, here we go, the last few days in proper diary stylee becuase its easier...

Thurs 23 Feb: Flew to Southampton 4pm. Chilled at Nick's parents and had nice family dinner with the folks plus Holly & her boyfriend. They brought their 11 week old puppy along which is one of those white fluffy terriers and just ridiculously adorable. It couldn't run properly but did this crazy fast hoppy/bouncy thing, a bit like a kangaroo. Anyway, the cute factor was through the roof.

Fri 24: Got up early and went to Debenhams to check out the wedding stationary. V good, chose nice cards & Nick was happy too. Drove up to Worksop (still no idea where it is) with the GPS to guide us thank goodness, and the Da Vinci Code on audio CD the whole way. Stopped for lunch at a horrid service station for an overpriced jacket potato. Arrived at hotel in Worksop at about 4:30 so not too bad, went to see the bride-to-be at her sisters house for a cup of tea then back to hotel for really delicious 2 course meal and sank a bottle of wine each, clearly we were both a bit tired becuase it went to both ours heads instantly and we both got horrendous red faced giggle attacks at the antics of our highly attentive and slightly scary waitress. Even sober she would have been scary though. She kept hovering and every 5 minutes would come top of the wine and arrange the serving dishes so that the SPOONS were pointed in the correct directionss!!? WTF? She was clearly a bit OCD.

Sat: Up early again to hairdressers for wedding hair. Let young hairdressing lady attack me with her tongs and turn me into a huge poodle head. It was scary. Very scary. People were looking at me all wide-eyed and the girl was gushing about how great it looked and I just sat there like a big lummox and let her do it to me. I managed to get her to pull some of it back off my face in the end which made it slightly less massive and to be fair after a few hours it did relax a bit and look much better, but for the wedding photos (which were earlier in the day) I had poodle hair. Nick thought it looked great though so maybe I'm being paranoid!
After the hairdressers went to help the bride get ready, get dressed, makeup etc etc which was fun. She looked beautiful. Drove to the Church, did my whole bridesmaid duty which was surreal and it all went really fast. There was a pretty little flower girl who was like a mini version of me, she was literally my mini-me. I missed the entire wedding run through though so I didn't really know what I had to do and where I was supposed to sit etc and I ended up sitting between the brides mum & dad which I think was a bit innappropriate as the mum was crying and there's me again, big poodle headed lummox sat in the wrong place trying to look inconspicuous. I was a witness too which I wasn't expecting.
After the wedding & photos it was to the village hall for the reception, lots of food and wine, speeches, all the rest of it. It was quite a small reception which was nice, more people came in the evening. I think the bride had a really nice day. I drank too much early on and as a result got tired out and really flaked by the end of the evening, what a lightweight I know.

Sun: Christ, up early AGAIN, this time to check out. Lost my lovely DKNY perfume in the hotel room, I swear it was stolen by the cleaner so I caused a bit of a fuss. It still hasn't turned up. Drove down to the Miltont Keynes Ikea for a few hours of retail therapy but didn't end up buying much. It seems to be the same old stock they had years ago, not much new stuff at all. Arrived back in Southampton late afternoon to an amazing roast dinner and early night. Feeling fairly tired out and full of cold by this point.

Today: Hoorah! Finally got a lie-in. Definitely have a full on cold now complete with sore throat and free-running snot. Flew back to Guernsey at 11:00. Got all paniced on the plane becuase they flew into Guernsey a funyy way and I didn't recognise the coastline and became convinced we had somehow got on a Jersey flight by mistake. Managed to panic Nick as well until literally we landed and could tell it was definitely Gsey airport. What a pair of divvies. And that brings me pretty much up to speed, allbeit in a brief fashion. Nick doesn't have to go into work until 4 so he's at home watching daytime TV right now the lucky bastard.

We are supposed to be out tonight for a friends leaving do but I'm feeling so snotted-up and have loads of unpacking blah blah I might bail. My cat was all scared and weird when we arrived back home, I don't think she realised it was us at first but she's OK now.

Shit, that's the longest blog entry ever in the history of Sam.

I'm far too busy dammit

This has been a reeeeeeeeeally busy week. I have a lot of stuff on. Work wise, people are away, we're short staffed and I seem to be doing mostly all the viewings. It would have to be the coldest, nastiest week of the year so fay as well. On Monday I forgot my gloves and had three bad attacks of Raynauds. It was quite embarrasing because at one point I had to write out a cheque with people waiting behind me and I must have looked like a right spaz cos it took me ages to write it and my hands looked like a dead womans. Ah well, at least the hair still looks good, and I can use my dead fingers to freak Nick out, he hates them!!

I've got a woman who wants to come round and view the house we rent (my Dad is selling it privately and he's in the UK so I have to show her around), anyway she's been before and she's a bit crazy-ass, last time I was on the phone to her she starting crying so I don't want to invite her around really incase she breaks down in the lounge or something. She's just a bit weird and has THE most annoying voice. Its monotone.

I guess she's OK really but it's just that's its our old family house where I grew up many years ago and I am a bit emotionally attached. I would like someone nice to have it and look after it properly, that's all. Anyway, its all a long long story how I ended up living there again with Nick (and without my Dad).

We're off of course tomorrow to Southampton then its the big drive to Worksop (which is where??? I still don't know. Luckily we have GPS otherwise I'd be seriously worried right now). I went shopping yesterday lunchtime and bought some cutesy pearl earrings and a matching bracelet which will look the business with the bridesmaids dress. It's got a pearly sheen to it and I will also be wearing a white fur jacket thing, I'm going for a kind of 1940's glam, hopefully it'll pay off.

I spent 4 and a half hours tidying yesterday incase the woman wants a viewing, I also did some sewing(!), I repaired my fake ugg style slippers which were splitting at the seams and I also waxed my (non existant I promise except in very harsh sunlight) tash ready for Saturday. I've been making free and easy with the Johnsons holiday skin as well so that I'll have a lovely glowing tan. Woooo.

I have my rant head on, apologies.

I feel the need to relate the story of the shitty hairdresser and the princess. (Me being the princess of course.)

We went out on Friday night as planned to our friends flat. We ate those Old El Paso thingies you get in the advert! Brilliant. So anyway it was only natural that we got slightly pissed and it was a fairly late one. As a result I overslept slightly the next morning. I woke up at precisely 9:32 and my hair appointment was for 9:45, oops. Luckily we slept at the flat which is only about a 10 minute walk from the hairdressers so I LEAPT out of bed, pulled on last nights smelly clothes, brushed my teeth and legged it out of the flat. At this stage my head was pounding quite profoundly and I felt that I could collapse at any minute I must say.

I arrived 5 minutes late for my appointment and do you know what? The shitty hairdresser refused to see me. She sent me away! 5 MINUTES!!!! Not 15 minutes, not even 10, but 5! I was gobsmacked.

She said that I could come back in an hour to have my colour done but there was no way she would now have time to cut my hair as well. Can you believe it. I explained that I am going to a wedding this week and am the bridesmaid and desperately needed my hair cut & roots done today as arranged. But No! The stony faced cow refused. It was literally like 'computer says no'. It was 'Activ Hair' to name and shame.

This story does have a happy ending you will be pleased to hear. I have found a fantastic new hairdresser as a result. She's called Maria (at Carma's), she fitted me in at very short notice and gave me the best haircut I've had in about 3 years. She also coloured my hair exactly how I wanted, she is a real find. And guess what? When she was cutting my hair she noticed that one side was longer than the other, so bad Activ Hair again, they are the folk that cut it last time. She massaged my pounding hangover head and gave me lots of lovely tea and I didn't even need a magazine cos she was so chatty. So all's well that ends well.

Sorry to recount all that in great detail but it upset me all morning that someone could let me down so badly and not give a shit like that but all in all it worked out for the best thank God.

Yesterday I tiled my kitchen, it took me all day and I'm very proud because it looks very even and straight.

On Saturday night we went to Rachel's flatwarming party which was brilliant as it was halloween themed! There was lots of haribo.

And tonight I am collecting my newly altered bridesmaid dress so I'll be all set to go. And guess what folks, I'm only working a 3 1/2 day week cos I'm flying away on Thursday afternoon. Sing Hosannas and all that.

Lawks A Lordy

Blimey, it was hailing like crazy at lunchtime. I was marooned in a clothes shop at the time and eventually made a crazy dash back to work but not before a hailstone hit me on the nose and made my eyes water, those things sting! It kind of looked like snow though, very pretty.

Have just come back from a viewing with a couple who had the most bratty bratty kids in tow. One of them scared the cat and the other pulled a cupboard door handle off. The parents didn't seem to have any control. I just wanted to scream at them to stop touching everything. Especially cos it was a nice cat that I had made friends with before they all arrived. Poor thing.

(PS I would like to assert that I am not a twat, despite the irritating blog titles I put on. I don't know what I was thinking but Lawks a Lordy isn't something I usually come out with, I promise.)

Crap Sticks

Oopsa daisy, have made yet another stunning balls-up at work. Ha ha, it's quite funny though. I sent a surveyor around to a house thinking that the owners were away on holiday but it turned out they were back today and were both in bed asleep when he let himself in with the key. The key I gave him. How naughty. Must phone them and apologise but he said they went back to bed so will leave it a few hours. He was really really embarrased about it, hope they weren't naked or anything.

Ah, well that's my morning so far. Umm, have to go into town at lunchtime and withdraw lots of cash to pay the plumber who fitted our bathroom suite earlier this week. We're out tonight to Ben & Penny's for a boozy soiree and we have another tomorrow, Rachel's flatwarming. She didn't have a halloween party so she's having an 'evil' theme. And tomorrow I am SORTING OUT my manky hair, I'm having highlights and a few inches lopped off. It's got way too long and I am starting to look like Neil from the Young Ones. Also my roots are totally unacceptable. If I have the time today I'm going to flick through magazines to find inspiration. I might go a bit blonder.

Molly news: took her to the vets, he says she had an enlarged thyroid and is suffering from stress. How bad do I feel? I don't understand the stress thing, I really don't. I mean, I try to give her the best life I can, she gets fed, like, ALL the time and has her routine, plus we totally spoil her and fuss over her all the time. The vet said it might be another cat hanging around that causes it, so if I see any others I'm going to shout at them and freak them out.

I watched Dodgeball last night, it was really really funny. Ben Stiller is so great.

Well, have a good weekend y'all, and think of me getting drunk/sitting at the hairdressers/doing lots of DIY.
xxx

I'm fugging tired

I won't bore you with the reasons why I haven't been able to blog for the last few days: suffice to say that they were all work related and hence not worth mentioning.

Luckily I now have time to sit back and relax, although I am strictly speaking still at work and do have stuff to be getting on with. In particular I have a nasty phone call to make, to let a vendor know that their buyers have just pulled out. These are always excruciating in the maximum but I've done enough of them over the last few years to be fairly thick skinned about it. What is very very annoying is that the buyers really had no good reason why they are pulling out, so all I can really tell the vendor is that they've changed their minds and should be slapped for messing him about.

I went out last night to the Doghouse (ha I just wrote Boghouse! Freudian!) in order to scout out a local band for maybe the wedding reception. They were a Jersey band and not amazingly inspiring so I will have to keep looking. We have booked this local jazz pianist/singer to play already so I dont know if we need a band as well. We'll see. Nick got really drunk and first of all he wouldn't leave the pub, then he tried to get out of the car at some traffic lights on the way home to have a wee. Sometimes he's a bit of a liability.

I am supposed to be going to a party tonight, I really need to wake myself up, I haven't had much sleep and I feel a bit mushy.

Oh yes, the title. I have added another link to my 'websites I like' bit, go fug yourself is a very funny American blog, do have a look.

I can't wait for this next week, we're going to get so much done at the flat. We have a plasterer and a bathroom fitter and a granite specialist coming round. And Nick's taken the week off work to get loads done so woo woo woo! We might be able to move in soon!

Well, gah. My hair is greasy and the phone keeps ringing which makes me lose my train of thought.

Shit, my boss just arrived and I had the front door locked because I went out the back for a wee and forgot to unbolt the door afterwards. What a bad girl.

I just made the evil phonecall, at least that's over and done with.

Someone left a tin of jellybabies here yesterday and I've eaten all the yellow ones, yum yum in my tum.

Blah blah blah

This is monday morning, this is me, at work, gazing out of the window as per usual. Working hard or hardly working? You decide.

Another weekend sans much fun. Another hard slog of DIY but its so boring, the kitchen looks pretty though, that I will say. I am around there again tonight because I have no life. No, basically I just want to move in and I can't stand how long it is all taking.

I watched Revenge of the Sith last night, it was quite unconvincing. It did upset me a bit when Anakim got his legs chopped up and his pretty face fried in the volcano but all in all it didn't make me whoop with excitement as I had hoped. I just found it jumped around far too much and relied too heavily on pretty back drops. Saying that it was infinitely better than the previous 2 prequels and it was pleasantly dark. Which I liked.

OK, apart from that I'm sorting out more wedding stuff today. We're also off to Dix Neuf on Wednesday night to hear a local jazz player in the hope that he might want to play at our reception. Nick is sorting out the honeymoon which is hideously complicated as it involves several flights, time zones, hotels and hire cars so I will leave that with him. It makes my head implode. We're thinking London - San Fran - LA - Tokyo - Bangkok - London but all in three weeks??

This is now Monday afternoon, see how long it takes me to write these? I wish I got paid for this. OK, I stopped for a tuna salad & a chomp bar.

I have just come back from viewings at the bedsit apartments (shiver) that I mentioned a couple of weeks ago. I showed around a middle aged man with a toupee who had a bout of verbal diahhrea and divulged to me (against my wishes) the entire sad story of how his Portuguese wife stiffed him and left him for broke but he has to be nice to her because they have a child. Sigh. I don't ask to be a agony aunt, I really don't. The good news was that he liked one of the apartments. Yes, I couldn't believe it but to each his own, as they say.

Mint tea, ahhhhhhhh.

... really works. Or it is at least a very convincing placebo. I feel 78% better. That could also be the result of a few quite acidic farts though.

I went home in my lunch hour and accidently trod on my cat. Which was ironic because I only bothered to go home because she was acting all miserable yesterday and I felt really bad that I didn't go home last night and I wanted to give her some love. I was wearing my boots as well. The guilt lingers on.

I sold a sweet little house today. A young couple, they really suit the place. And I've done a few viewings, at one of of them the lady would NOT speak the entire time and I felt I had to fill all the uncomfortable silences with inane remarks, ("Ooh what a lovely vase" etc etc when I don't even like the sodding vase) but I think she was quiet in a good way and she was just trying to take it all in. I probably distracted her utterly.

It's roast chicken again tonight, partly for the cat as I know she loves it. My karma must be rebalanced.

One bloated tummy

Ohhhhh my God I literally could explode right now. Ugh.

I am sat at my desk, only I'm hunched over my desk like Quasimodo. I have the worst indigestion ever. It obviously has a lot to do with the entire large bag of Penn state pretzels, toad in the hole, mashed potato, chocolate fondue, haribo sweets and bottles of wine I consumed last night. I can see why people become bullimic, I really can. The thought of sticking my fingers down my throat and emptying out my stuffed gullet is very very tempting right now. But first I will try a peppermint tea to ease the pain.

Our friends introduced us to 'Articulate' last night, which is a boardgame version of Richard & Judy's 'You say, We pay' basically. Great fun.

Also, my tummy button hurts. I stuffed my old belly ring through it the other night to see if the hole was open (after about 5 years of not wearing it) and weirdly enough it was. Only it bled when I removed it again and now it hurts and my trousers are cutting in to it where my stomach is so big today.

Sindy Rules...

Carrying on from the incredible twee girlieness of yesterdays postings, I have added a new link on my favourite websites. (Scroll down, you'll see it.)

This is a website made by a lady who collects Sindy dolls then makes photo-montage style cartoons with them. Kind of like Deirdre's casebook in the Sun. I think it's fantastic, probably becuase its an amalgamation of favourites things from my childhood, Sindy dolls and Bunty/Mandy style comic books. So hurrah for all things twee and 80's. And they're also quite funny. Kind of like if you still played with dolls this is what you would do with them...

Another site worth looking at from a blogging point of view is this which is a round up of the best blogs from around the world which are all up for awards. The funniest nominations includes 'stuff on my cat' which will be getting my vote.