"Somewhat Lacking in Substance"

I have been 'letting myself go a bit' in blog terms recently, mainly because I have been spending far too much time on myspace, trying to find people then getting all excited when I do find someone new. I'm trying only to have friends that I actually know but I keep getting requests from randoms. I guess that's the way it works!

So, back to my narcissistic blog, which I can't give up because I have been doing it far too long. Is that how you spell narcissistic? OK, self-indulgent. OK, bored at work. Ha ha.

I have had a really busy last few days, evenings-wise at least. Thursday we went to the Swan with Sue & Laurie for some week night drinking, (always regrettable the next day!) then we went out with them again on Friday night to La Cucina, a fairly funky little tapas joint with too-loud music but great food and an over enthusiastic but quite fun waitress.

On Sat night Anna, Katie & SJ came over to ours for a catch up/girlie night as Katie was over just for the weekend. Then I had my folks around Sunday and I cooked a BIG CHICKEN, and then last night, Monday, Rachel & Tam cam around to watch videos. It's so nice to live in town and be able to have people around properly, I love it. But tonight I am going to DO NOTHING. Just chill out. Seriously, I need some shut-eye. And maybe I need to watch the latest Skins as well.

On Sunday afternoon I let a baby cow suck my fingers, which really hurt as it had a raspy tongue, a lot like a cat. If anyone is thinking of letting a cow suck their fingers, I warn you it chafes.

Me give Good suckie suckie

Guernsey cows rule. This little fella really liked sucking my hand, which was kind of gross but very endearing. I want a pet cow.

Make Sense Damnit!

When I am writing these posts they always make perfect sense to me. Always. Then I read them back and I realise that they don't make sense at all. I apologise to anyone reading this who it doesn't make any sense to. My garbled grammar is appauling at times!

Well, Hot Fuzz was wicked. As good as Sean of the Dead, probably. Very good, by the Power of Greyskull!

Well, all of my sales are falling through at work, I've had about 3 in a week. Never mind, we shan't talk about that. I might get into trouble if I write here about what I really think of some of the folk I have to deal with at work.

Download Me

Clicky click here for me on the telly

or you can download me here if you like.

Ahhh, I could get used to this celebrity lifestyle, I really could.

I'm very excited as I'm off to see HOT FUZZ tonight, it looks ace. I have absolutely nothing to blog about today, as I am far too busy and important.*

*(This may not actually be true, it could just be that I have done nothing worth writing about.)

M&S

Oriental Tuna & Soya Bean salad

Check, check check check check it out. What, what what what's it all about?

Serously, it's very good. Mmmmmm.

Sam & Nick versus the Sea

I am sure from the title of this blog that you probably have an inkling of where this story is going. Suffice to say, we both managed to look like a pair of right idiots this weekend. And it all started so well...

Saturday was a glorious day, it was hard to believe it was February. As soon as I finished work I trotted off down to Bordeaux to meet Nick. He had been shopping on the bridge and we decided to go for a lovely romantic walk along the beach. It turned into one of those exciting adventure rambles, you know the sort, where you are scrambling up rocks and peering into rock pools pretending you're in the Famous Five. What is great about Bordeaux is that there are lots of low tide little islands that you can climb onto and we were doing just that. The largest of these we decided to stop and sunbathe on. It was so warm and sunny we sat there dozing for about half an hour. It was so relaxing and was making us both think that Guernsey is wonderful etc etc.

So up we got after a very relaxing time and started to walk back towards land. As we reach the crest of a small hill I watch Nick stop dead. Shit. The sea had sneakily rushed in, at a speed I could hardly fathom, and there was now a stretch of water in between us and the beach approximately the width of a motorway. I completely paniced and basically decided to jump right in and get across quick, as I could see it was getting deeper by the minute. So off went the shoes and socks and up went the trouser legs. Would have been OK apart from the water was waist deep. So I reached the other side, panting and a little bit scared if I'm honest (thoughts of spider crabs were circling my mind) and I looked back to see one forlorn trainer bobbing out to sea like a little blue boat. I had dropped it without realising! So I had to wade back in, again into waist high water and rescue the sodding thing.

Meantime, Nick is doubled up in hysterics on the other side, having watched me flailing across the roiling depths, and cleverly decides to take his trousers off and go across a la Boxer shorts. Which was a very good idea if I'm honest. They also got soaked, and he cut his foot coming across but he made it too without too much bother. It was when he decided to bare himself afterwards in order to do a 'quick change' back into the trousers that was the icing on the cake!

Walking back in squelching wet trousers to the car, an elderly couple stopped us on the path and told us they had been watching our entire performance through their binoculars. Poor Nick, I'm not sure if they meant that end finale as well!

On Saturday night we went out to Christies with SJ & Mike, then on to Rachels flat as she had a few people around. Then I slept until 1pm on Sunday, hurrah! When I finally surfaced I went for a stroll to Soldiers Bay, and in the evening Rachel came around and we watched Barton Fink, which was absolutely brilliant.

PS Katie you are such a paedo!! But I sneakily agree with you. And Ant I am very pleased that you agree with me on the Donaldson, I am waiting for his new book to come out which I think is happening in October. Very very excited about that.

Skins

I am absolutely loving skins. It is the best thing since sliced bread, and crusty granary buttered bread at that. We stayed up watching episodes last night and smoking Spice Gold, which smells like cats piss but does work, somehow. Anyway, watch it if you can, it is probably the best thing on the telly at the moment.

To combat all this good telly we also watched the worstest film I have evvvvvvver seen in my 27 years of life last night. Alien Siege WTF?? What was annoying was that it had a really good plot.

It's set in the present day, a load of bad-ass aliens come down to earth and demand 8 million people as human sacrifices. Their race are dying and it is the only way they can save themselves. They have superior fire power, intelligence and blah blah blah. So the government agrees to it and people are 'harvested' up and killed horrbily on the alien mother ship. A lowly bunch of freedom fighters take on the aliens and the government combined and strive to save the day. Sound good, right? No. Worst waste of two hours of my life. Anyway, lets not dwell.

I have finished Eragon, which ruled, and am waiting for the library to get in the sequel, Eldest. I can't believe he managed to write that when he was 15.

In the meantime I am trying to read some pure 70's sci fi fiction, in the form of Julian May. I'm not sure if it's quite up my street. but I loved the Gap Series by Stephen Donaldson, so much that I thought I would give another author a go. I am also thinking about rereading the Terry Goodkind novels, as he seems to have written about 10 new ones and I only got a far as the first 4 or so the first time around. I don't know if the later books would be as good though, some reviews have been quite bad.

Am off then, out tonight with friends and going to the gym this afternoon. I'm at work at the moment hence the long, rambling blog entry. You should all read Stephen Donaldson and Terry Goodkind. They rule. And I have read a lot of fantasty/sci fi so am a reliable person to judge. Also, the Drenai series by David Gemmell, (R.I.P) although it is quite cheesy it is very enjoyable.

Don't forget to watch me 2nite!

I am such a fame whore.

Mouldy Teeth

Ahhhhhh, Valentines day. I kind of feel a bit let down by the whole thing. We tried, we really did, but we were both feeling really really knackered yesterday and although we were sat in a beautiful restaurant eating gourmet food, we just couldn't summon the energy required to enjoy ourselves. How sad! What an old married couple. But really, it's all so terribly manufactured. When the waiter offered me a red rose at the end I was thinking how vile. But you end up feeling awful if you don't get a card or try to make ot special, there is just too much pressure. Next year, I think we will stay in. I ate so much rich food that I am going to have to spend the rest of the week in penance.

I took Molly to the vets yesterday for her booster, she miowed constantly in the car and then when we were in the waiting room I think she was actually having a 'who can miow the loudest' contest with a nearby cat. Molly lost, this other cat had the loudest miow ever.

So there was a lovely young vet, an Ozzie I think, and I think that Molly quite fancied him cos she settled right down and started purring when he stroked her. Turns out she still has a swollen thyroid and a racing heart so he is a little bit concerned. Also, she has gingivitus, which we kind of guessed from her incresingly rancid breath of late. So although not really mouldy, as in the title, they are still not good and she has been put on a course of antibiotics to sort it. I think the racing heart was just because she was a bit scared so I'm not too worried about that. Anyway, £45 bloody quid for all that. I know! Terrible eh.

I'm off to have lunch with Rachel today, I will try to order healthy. Although the cafe is called 'Piece of Cake' so I think I may have trouble.

Weird Local Celebrity Status

I had my first taste of it this morning. Phoned up a lady to book an appointment and she said that she saw me on the telly last night in an advert for tomorrows programme. I absolutely went bright red and everyone was laughing at me in the office!! Nice. I haven't seen the ad myself so have no idea what I look like. I have heard what I sound like though (down the phone to Nick as he was editing it yesterday) and I sound like a little girl. What is with that??

Am feeling slightly hungover as was drinking beer/wine/whisky & becherovska last night. Nice mix! Luckily only small amounts of each so not too horrific. Still, I plan on going home at lunchtime and curling up into a small ball.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

I would like the world to know that by big sister...

is Up the Duff

Eating for Two

Has a Bun in the Oven

is Ensuring her Legacy

is Knocked Up

in the Pudding Club

is Keith Cheggars

and various other annoying yet appropriate phrases.

Yes! I'm going to be an Auntie! Auntie Sam!! I have been waiting for ages to tell people but one has to wait for these things to progress to a certain level before letting the world at large know. Anyway, that time has come. They found out at Christmas which made the whole festive season that little bit better! Well done Suzi & Simon! xxxxx

Becherovska!

Hello folks, I am returned from Prague, or Praha, as it is known by the locals. I have discovered the delights of Becherovska! Which is a spicy drink you mix with tonic, a la gin and tonic but this instead of gin, with ice and a slice. Mmmmm! Yummy foreign drinks.

So, after a few wobbles we got there OK. Our flight from Guernsey was delayed on Thursday and our connecting flight was then cancelled, so we ended up having to fly Easyjet and didn't arrive until much later than expected so we got no filming done that day.

After a mimimum amount of sleep we were up and out very early on Friday morning. The filming started at the hotel breakfast buffet and basically didn't stop all day! We ran around the city like a trio of loons, carrying around all this camera equipment and getting stared at and told off by policemen for filming illegally on the Charles Bridge!! But we got to do loads of great stuff, the hotel laid it on super thick as we were filming a Valentines special, we got free booze, chocolates, amazing gourmet food in 5 star surroundings. The hotel gave our their best suite which included a lounge, walk in entrance room and two bathrooms!

I found the Czech language very hard to master as there are lots of z's and k's, and although the city is achingly beautiful the people are pretty wise to tourists and clearly there have been too many stag weekends etc spoiling the place which has left them pretty suspicious. Our guide Peter warned us about pickpockets but luckily we didn't get into any trouble. The weirdest thing was going around with camera equipment, everybody stops and stares at you. And when we were filming you got all these twats running up and waving their arms and shouting behind you. Which by the end just wasn't funny as I found it tricky to remember my lines.

Still, all in all we were treated like absolute royalty and although only there for a very short time I got enough of a feeling for the city to realise I would like to go back for longer. I saw my Astronomical Clock and giant metronome, although not the Lennon graffiti wall. We also got to see where Madonna and Daniel Craig stayed in a hotel, where they filmed a scene from Mission Impossible, and also where 20 severed heads were hung from a tower. Great! We had lunch in a 5 star hotel where they were real Dali's, Picasso's and Chagall paintings on the walls. And I have pulled a big muscle in my chest from lugging everything around that is still hurting today.

Anyhoo, the fruits of my exploits will be shown on ITV this Thursday just after the 6pm news. That's ITV Channel islands. For those unable to get the channel it will also be aired on their website soon after. Click here.

Lifted off the BBC Website:

This is a girl I went to school with. Watch it if you can!
............................................................................................................

Super Slim Me: A Mischief Special

BBC 3, Wed 7 Feb, 9:00 pm - 10:00 pm 60mins

Writer and TV presenter Dawn Porter is on an all-consuming mission to see what it takes to shrink from her curvy UK size 12 figure to the much-touted, super-skinny Hollywood zero. Surviving on a diet of just 500 calories a day, she hunts down the stylists, designers and agencies who are responsible for making skinniness not only appear possible, but also the ultimate goal for any dedicated follower of fashion.

Existing on the minimum celebrity nibbles that her army of medical experts will allow, her journey begins in Hollywood, the birthplace of zero. Dawn heads to Madrid to talk to Fashion Show Director Leonor Perez Pita, who recently banned super-skinny models from the catwalk and who thinks the UK should do the same.

After a flying visit to Madrid to size zero icon Victoria Beckham's house Dawn hits the UK with a variety of mischievous stunts to try to get someone to take responsibility for the super-skinny craze. [S]

Roosting Cats

I guess there is a dog below the tree and they are all hiding out of its reach.

The Great Ugg Debate

So. Everyone was ganging up on me last night telling me that Uggs are out of fashion! How very dare they. I exhibit the above evidence. If they're good enough for Kate Bosworth and Thandie Newton.... (not to mention Sienna, Kate et all)

By everyone, I mean chiefly Nick, who hates the idea of me buying a pair. Then Susan and Sarah joined in with telling me that I am basically a big saddo if I buy a pair. This, teemed with the deprecating comment my cousin made the other week about it how I purchase a pair then I should feel very guilty about my carbon footprint (!?!?!) is just making me want to BUY THEM EVEN MORE!! Everyone says I shouldn't so I damn well will. I have always thought that they look really cute with jeans and I get very cold feet and they are supposedly the warmest things in the world ever. And despite having been 'in' for over two years now I don't think they are going to go 'out' of fashion as they are too damn comfy. And if you buy proper Uggs or Emus apparentely they don't lose their shape like the cheap knock-offs.

Well, I will give it a few weeks and if I haven't gone off the idea I might get a pair.

I am reading Eragon at the moment. It is really great!! I love it. I watched the film the other week with Rachel. I am also reading Goldfinger by Ian Fleming, which is also great. And finally I am also reading the rough guide to Prague. I must watch out for taxi drivers and pickpockets apparentely!! I will have to be on my toes.

Prague here I come

I guess I won't be seeing all of these sights, as we're only staying for two nights. But I especially want to see the astronomical clock: