Grrrr, Bad Nicholas Cage

I am fuming. Nick made me watch the remake of the Wicker Man, one of the best films of all time, last night.

How dare you Mr Cage, even attempt to simulate Edward Woodward in that film. Your paltry, feeble cries of woe during the final scenes did nothing to send tingles down my spine. You were nowhere even close to replicating the "Oh Lord, Oh Jesus Christ, Noooo....!" lines that came across so horrifying in the original.

I don't even know why Nick ordered it off Lovefilm, because he loves the original too, to the point where he knows the words to all the songs. The only good bit in the remake was that they didn't change the ending into a happy one, I think I would have vomited all over the TV if that has happened. And don't even get me started on the fat bird that plays Christophed Lee's character.

I still have a lot of love for Mr Cage, mainly due to his part in Moonstruck, which is another one of the best films of all time, so I will forgive, but he needs to stay away from remakes.

I have just come back to the office after going home for lunch and eating a tin of macaroni cheese. I am so healthy. (I ate a kiwi to right the balance so I don't feel too bad.) Cash in the Attic always seems to be on when I go home for lunch, it is such dross.

And good Lord I can write in coloured fonts on this! I'll be jiggered.