I don't know, the last few days two of my close friends are having a difficult situation, and guess what, its about boys. Why is it that the one thing that fucks things up with friendships is relationships?
The long and the short of it goes like this. My friend had a long term relationship with a guy for 5 years, but they broke up about 18 months ago and now she is living off the island. My other friend recently went to a wedding where this ex happened to be. They got talking and have since been on a few dates. (This girl hardly ever dates, it has to be said. Sorry, but its true.)
The first friend, I think, is quite upset by this. Even though she has no intentions of getting back together they were with each other a long time and she feels that the other girl should not have even thought about going there, it's forbidden territory.
The other girl, she really likes the guy and doesn't know what to do. This is bearing in mind that she has been single for a good few years and lives in a small island where, lets face it, there are quite slim pickings. So does she follow her instincts and try it out with this guy, in which case upsetting a long term friend? Or does she call it off and miss out on what could be something special? Is my first friend over reacting? How would I react? I don't really know.
To be honest I think the entire thing is a grey area and friend no.2 needs to decide how much she likes this guy and if she sees it going long term, because if not, she should call it off. Friends are so important. I just want all my mates to be happy, but not at each others expense. I just hope to God they can sort it out so its not all weird when we meet up and if one of them is there, the other one can't be. Thats the worst case scenario I guess.
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4 comments:
I think that friend no. 2 should continue to see him, as she won't know if they have a future together until they really get to know each other. Although it's really hard for friend no. 1, she should realise that the fella would have a girlfriend anyway by now, so it it such a bad thing that she's friends with her? Could she not learn to be friends with her ex after 18 months? If she has a problem with it then it's because she still has feelings for the guy which she perhaps ought to admit to friend no. 2.
In 10 years from now friend no. 1 could have a family and friend no. 2 could be pondering what she missed out on if she doesn't give it a go.
From Agony Aunt Suzi. x
Completely agree with everything Suzi said, and I am a bloke ;-)
I think friend no.2 should talk fella into having a face transplant, getting his hair dyed, name changed, etc. Problem solved.
(Ok, if I am forced to give a serious answer, I agree with Aunty's conclusion).
From Aunty's hubby.
That's the best advice yet! Nice one.
I am hoping the whole thing will blow over quickly. Girl 1 is over this weekend so its all a bit raaaa but then she's away again so I'm sure it'll all sort itself out.
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