Grrrr, Bad Nicholas Cage

I am fuming. Nick made me watch the remake of the Wicker Man, one of the best films of all time, last night.

How dare you Mr Cage, even attempt to simulate Edward Woodward in that film. Your paltry, feeble cries of woe during the final scenes did nothing to send tingles down my spine. You were nowhere even close to replicating the "Oh Lord, Oh Jesus Christ, Noooo....!" lines that came across so horrifying in the original.

I don't even know why Nick ordered it off Lovefilm, because he loves the original too, to the point where he knows the words to all the songs. The only good bit in the remake was that they didn't change the ending into a happy one, I think I would have vomited all over the TV if that has happened. And don't even get me started on the fat bird that plays Christophed Lee's character.

I still have a lot of love for Mr Cage, mainly due to his part in Moonstruck, which is another one of the best films of all time, so I will forgive, but he needs to stay away from remakes.

I have just come back to the office after going home for lunch and eating a tin of macaroni cheese. I am so healthy. (I ate a kiwi to right the balance so I don't feel too bad.) Cash in the Attic always seems to be on when I go home for lunch, it is such dross.

And good Lord I can write in coloured fonts on this! I'll be jiggered.

Bored Bored Bored

OK I'm bored now. This morning was busy, but now I have nothing in my diary until 4:30. Poo. Then I have an evening drinks do at Castel Cornet. Not that I want anyone to come along and stalk me but there we have it. It will be highly boring and the one I went to last year left me very drunk ans stupid and talking to people I don't know. If it is cold this evening I will definitely be coming home early, and I wo'nt be drinking too much. I have to work all day on Saturday which is a bit stinky but then I can take the following Friday off which is great.

I watched a good film last night - Lucky Number Slevin. Very good! More so than I was expecting so that is nice.

Oh God I just slipped my shoes off under my desk and they REEK. Stupid cheap shoes. OK, the shoes have gone back on now, that is good.

I am currently praying for good weather next weekend for our Herm extravanganza and also sorting out stuff to do on Nick's actual birthday, which is next Wednesday. I have his present sorted which is a relief. It is also Suzi's 30th on Monday and she is doing some gorgeous spa thing with Simon. I am excited cos I have just booked flights to Bristol in August for a wedding & I might get a chance to pop to Wales & see her. Woooo! We might stay in Bath with Alex & Jess if they'll have us, or in Bristol with some other friends.

And my boss's wife bought me a special turquoise coloured pen today, because I had been going on about how much I liked the colour. Isn't that lovely of her!

My Birthday... Update

This is the Blythe Doll that Nick bought me!

Her eyes change colour and she is called Cinnamon Girl.

Check out the Darlin Blythe link down the left hand side for her home page!!

I feel hot, not in a sexy way though

It is as muggy as an atheletes crotch in my office today, and I have positioned myself under the tepid breeze of my clip on desk fan, which is cooling my head nicely while my feet remain toasty.

I was working on a window display earlier, cutting and sticking Blue-Peter stylee and I had to do this one piece three times because my sweaty hands kept smudging the ink. I know that air conditioning is not good for the environment, but what I would give for a cool breeze around my stifled toes right now...

Enough! I think I may have to open the small office fridge and wedge myself into it if I don't start thinking about something else. I went shopping in my lunch hour and bought lots of nice things, chicken kiev for tea, mmmm you can't beat that old trusty favourite. I am fully recovered (and so is the house and the laptop!) from my party weekend, although I have been feeling quite tired all week. I went shopping in my lunch hour on Monday and bought a couple of new tops plus a cheap but nice work dress that I am wearing today. I am wearing totally the wrong shoes with it though as I was in a hurry this morning and couldn't find the ones I wanted.

I have a very pregnant sister at the moment, she is 29.5 weeks with twins and really struggling to find clothes that fit. She is very tall, slender and with a huge low down bump. She says her trousers keep falling down and she keeps unintentionally mooning people at work! I find this hilarious. If you ever need an excise to moon your boss get pregnant. "Oh sorry I was just bending down to pick up a paperclip!" I suggested braces but this is seriously dyke-y on a girl and she could end up looking like Tweedledee.

Pics from my Party

These are some of Katie's pics. There are loads more on our camera but our laptop is badgered at the moment so I can't load em up!

I has a wicked birthday, lots of booze, good company, BBQ food, cards & pressies. Nick bought me a Cinnamon Girl Darling Blythe doll!!!!! I am made up! (See my profile picture for what she looks like). It is all over now but I still have lots of clothes vouchers to spend which is great. Me & Fran had a joint party on Sat at my flat, we had a gazebo with balloons and lots and lots of Pimms.

Hopefully I will put more pics up soon! On Sunday we went to Herm for lunch with it being Fathers Day and all that, then Nick & I went to the cinema and watched 28 weeks later (verdict was if you ignore all the crappy plot holes/obvious twists then you will enjoy it purely for the scenery of a deserted London - brilliant I would imagine if you lived in London).

I need a wee and a slice of cake (not at the same time).

Pa Pa Pa PAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa

Just a quick one.... it's my birthday tomorrow!! Tonight after work we erected (pffft!) a gazebo on our balcony in preparation for my party! Actually, our party as it is a joint one for Fran as well. We have tied it to the balcony rails with plastic ties - I hope it isn't windy tonight.

Just come home from the Rockmount, it was absolutely heaving with people, and now I am blowing up balloons. Nick is downstairs in the spare room 'preparing' my present!?!?!? ???? Not long to wait now, in less than an hour I will be 28. Or if you're fussy I think I was born early in the morning so not until then. I am so excited!!

I know I haven't blogged as much as usual but that is because everyone is on bloody facebook now so I mainly go on that.

Ahh, so many balloons, so little time...

Arrrr, Sea Mist & Old Skool Haunts

We had an exciting adventure on Saturday afternoon. After my last post, I finished work at 1pm then we went down to the QE2 Marina and launched the boat (Jeannie) on a Herm mission. We'd just got out of the marina when a think sea fog came down all around and we couldn't see either Guernsey or Herm. It was SO eerie, all we could hear was the occasional PAAARRRP of the fog horn. Using our chart plotter we managed to get over to Herm but we had to go mega mega slow and I was terrified of the Condor ferry hurtling into us. All was well though and we went ashore at Belvoir for a cup of tea and snacks before making our perilous way back. We saw a puffin bobbing along! It always amazes me how diddy they are.

In the evening we went for a bite at the Terrace with Chris, Sonia & Jamie, then we were joined by Penny, Matt & some of their friends as it was her birthday. It ended up being a really old skool night of going to places that we don't normally go to. Hence, we ended up in Pieces Bar which I am amazed is still going and hasn't changed a bit since I used to drink there under-age, and also the Golden Lion, where there were many slightly scary locals and lots of drunkeness.

On Sunday I did lots of sunbathing, went for a paddle at Port Soif and popped along to Saumarez Park to give Nick some moral support as he was compere-ing a fun picnic day for his work. It was all very jolly. And Rachel came around for pizza in the evening.

All in all, a rather lovely weekend.

sdrawkcab gnikaeps

Yesterday, I arrived home from work to find Nick in the lounge, on his laptop, with a microphone plugged in. Using a very simple programme and a sampling casio keyboard he had been recording songs for our friend Katy G who has been poorly. (She was in Darfur at the time and had a nasty flare up of rheumatism, not nice at all.) Anyway we started trying to talk backwards into the mike and then reversing it to see if it made sense. We used to so this a lot at Uni and it was always a bit scary, the end result. The scariest is if you just talk random gobbledegook and then play it backwards and discover messages. We used to think they were from Satan. Once, doing this we heard it say "I am in the sky behind you" which shitted us up good and proper. If you have seen Twin Peaks, its just like that little dwarf guy with the 'coffeeee'. Nasty. But fun.

Oh and this is really brilliant, if you have sound on your computer: CLICKY WOO

It is Saturday, I am at work. History is repeating. So, I still look a bit scratchy but my skin is healing. I came back to work on Wednesday so its been a nice short week. I didn't have time to wash my hair this morning but I am wearing gold shoes so as to distract from my greasy head. I am also dressed all in black, as I am in a bit of a black mood from not getting enough sleep and also having a slight hangover. I ate a load of chips and cheese from the Ribshack (Shitshack) last night and now feel guilty and also a little bit sick.

Tonight I am supposed to be out again for a friends birthday, but I need sleep. Whats a girl to do? Tomorrow I will be loitering in Saumarez Park. Next weekend, yes NEXT WEEKEND, it is my birthday, and also Fran's birthday, and we shall be celebrating. Lovely!

Grots

Poooo, been ill, getting better, back to work today. Had a grotty old weekend and start of the week. The illness involved a flare up of my allergy thing (see my blog from Nov 2005 - the last time I had it!) which was a bit horrible and I have marks all over my body that make me look like I've been in a catfight. The doctor says I have dermatographia which is where your skin is hypersensitive so if you scratch yourself or even wear slightly raspy clothes you end up with these red marks that blister and anyway I'll stop there! You probably don't want to know. Luckily it wasn't really painful, just nasty looking. Its much better today though.

I have also been growing tomatoes, painting my bannisters (white) and being domestic. I am currently working late as I'm waiting for someone to turn up for a viewing. Then its a nice night in with Nick & Mols in front of the telly. We were supposed to be going up the pub but everyone has bailed.

Poorly Me

Since I last blogged I have been feeling a but sorry for myself. On Friday I felt a bit itchy scratchy and I went to the doctor. He said "OOOOOh! You have an impressive case of dermatograpia giant urticaria!" So there! I got him to write that down so I could sound clever, it sounds way better than 'a nasty rash'.

Basically I have had an allergic reaction, probably to food and the likely contender is strawberries, that has made the histamine levels in my 'mast cells' go crazy and leak out and when I agitate my skin (ie by scratching or wearing tight clothes) I get these red weals that stay for days! I look like I have been in a rather nasty cat fight with a bunch of chavs. Its not really painful, just itchy and everywhere. I am on some strong tablets that make me woozy. They are fun, I am sleeping lots. Anyway it has gone down a lot today though so I am going to go back to work tomorrow. Nick made me help him paint the bannisters today so I have been keeping busy. I have been listening to Radio 4 all day while painting so I can tell you all about what has been going on between NATO and Russia. Also, I am growing tomatoes.

Molly got her tail in the white paint pot this afternoon and now has an unusual greyish patch that refuses to wash out.

ooooh Funfunfun!!

clicky clicky for animation goodness. Hours, or at the very least 15 minutes, of fun.

TV Reactions...

OK, apart from getting myself all worked up over the Season 3 finale of Lost and the fantastic 'Heroes' on scifi, I yesterday took the time out to watch the cretins go into this years Big Brother house.

As usual, I had pretty strong reactions to some of the characters, (there are a couple of identical twins that finish each others sentences, I would NOT be able to handle that!!) and I found myself really warming to a couple of them. Notably, the Welsh nanny and the 27 year old bank worker. Don't ask me the names. But just as I was warming to them I realised that they do all have agendas to be on the show which means that I can't really like them. It's a Catch 22. The only person who genuinely seems to not have any agenda is the crazy female version of last years Pete. She seems quite unable to be anything other than herself which is quite nice.

Anyway I have watched them all go in, I know enough to be able to understand who the papers are talking about when they inevitably start the bitching. I can now revert back to pondering over Lost.

I have just come back from a very wholesome lunch at 'Piece of Cake' with Rachel. We both had homemade steak and mushroom pies with peas and cravy. YUM! It is an excellent place, all their pies/pasties/cakes are homemade and the prices are really reasonable. Their tea is good too. I am a good advert eh!!

Some photos from the wedding

Penny & Isla were having trouble with heels sinking into grass!

On the return ferry journey, singing Jerusalem

Cutting the cake

I loved my new shoes but they were a bit sore by the end...

Champers & Pimms on the lawn..

What an attractive bunch.

Meh. This didn't work really.

Da crew.

The lovely Chris & Sonia Swift!

Two happy couples! Awww.

I'm Spitting Teeth

Sorry, that is a horrible expression that I think I just made up. I watched the Season 3 finale of Lost last night and it was SUCH a big huge awful cliffhanger that I cannot get it out of my head today. Of course, that is exactly what the writers wanted and I am a big sucker. But still!! Anyone out there also reeling? Just me? I have been frantically addng comments on Myspace Lost sites (when I have not been working hard of course) this morning to try and get to the bottom of it.

Aside from that trauma, since I last posted I have been up to all sorts. And if you have a facebook and are a friend of Islas and Nicks you will see the photographic evidence. We all went to a wedding on Saturday over in Herm which was very nice. The couple, Chris & Sonia, had the same Church & reception as we did last year and it was just lovely to go to a wedding without actually having to DO anything and enjoy the loveliness of Herm etc etc. They had fireworks, and lobster which we didn't, but then we had live Jazz and fizzy UFO sweets so I think they were on a par!

My in-laws have just returned to the UK after staying with us for a week. I always feel so guilty after as they didn't really let me cook or do anything. Nick's Mum did all my washing while I was out at work which was lovely of her but a bit weird cos I never have had anyone to do my washing and it freaks me out a bit in all honesty although I am grateful. I must just relax about other people handling my pants.

Nick is off work and getting rid of some stuff today at a Charity shop. Its stuff left over from a long-ago car boot sale that didn't get sold so I hope the charity shop will take it and not be too offended at the crapness of it.

Anyway, all in all I had a good bank holiday weekend. Lots of eating out, cliff walks and relaxing. While I remember, I was listening to the Goonies on radio 4 the other day and this really made me laugh.... it was a clip from an interrogation between a Nazi officer and a village person set I suppose during the Second World War. It went like this:

Nazi: "Admit it! You're a spy!!"

Villager: "I'm not a spy. I'm just a shepherd."

Nazi: "Alright then.... you're a shepherd's spy!"

That is all for now. xxx

Hungry

Hmm, tis nearly lunchtime and my stomach is growling like a disturbed Rottweiler.

I need to pop into town and buy some nail polish and possibly a nice quiche lorraine or similar for the inlaws that I can pretend I created with my own fair hands. Terrible, shopping when you are hungry. I better eat my sandwich before I go or else I will fill the trolley with a load of stuff I don't need.

I am so so good. I got up early this morning, (for me anyway) and gave the table its final coat of brown liquidy stuff to protect it against the weather. I am soooo so good. I also did a lot of housework last night, but finally stopped to watch the latest Ugly Betty which I had recorded, and read some of my book. Without Nick I can revel in the wanton pleasures of telly that I like, and can read in peace and quiet without being excused of being boring and old. I AM boring and old, he just doesn't know it yet.

OK well lunch awaits, as does M&S.

Lovely Sunny Day

I have had lots of viewings today, plus managed to pop home at lunchtime to put a second coat of Cuprinol protector stuff on our outside table. Aren't I good. And it is gooooooooorgeous out there. Everyone I see today has a little spring in their step.

I went to Christies last night for a brief catch up with Seonaid who was over, we were all a bit lame and sloped off our seperate ways by 9:30, which was OK because I then watched two episodes of Lost to get myself up to speed. Nick got up early this morning and flew to Jersey, booo, for two days. He's back tomorrow evening with his parents in tow. They are here for a week or so.

We chilled out over the weekend, I have had my hair done which is very pleasing indeed. I also spent a lot of Sunday with Nick in the garden doing gardeny stuff. I have some hostas, buzy lizzies and applemint, good eh! I'm impressed with myself for being so God damn Charlie-Dimmocky. I wear a bra though, don't get excited.

Gah.

Thirsty, working far too hard. Working far too hard AND don't have internet at home as Nick has been away and he took the laptop with him. Selfish or what.

So, have been working, watching Firefly episodes, reading Terry Goodkind books & Neil Gaiman comics, sleeping, eating, feeling crappy about my weight (am officially a stone heavier than this time last year and it SHOWS) and generally socialising and trying not to spend too much money.

Thank God though - I'm getting my 2 inch roots sorted out tomorrow. Although I can't afford it, it is a NECESSITY. Alright???

Oh, and I got a fucking parking ticket just now, and just because I hadn't set my clock right cos I was in a rush cos I was working too hard. WHERE'S THE JUSTICE???

I really shouldn't blog when I am in a bad mood.

Air Hellair

Tits. It has been over a week since my last post. I have been mightily distracted by work, play and other stuff. It has been a good week-and-a-bit, and today it is Sunday and I am currently stretched out on the lounge carpet alongside Molly, who is licking herself.

So from when I last posted, I went and watched Pan's Labyrinth with Fran last Saturday at the new Arts Centre, which was AWESOME. What a great film, very dark fantasy and right up my street.

And uh oh Molly is trying to sit on my keyboard. Get off Mols. She's only happy when she's right in my bloody way!!

So that was last Saturday, now last Sunday we saw Sue & Laurie in the afternoon, or that could have been Monday. See, my brain doesn't hold information that long! Tuesday, I had to work, we were quite short staffed and it was REALLY busy so I finished late, but that was OK cos Wednesday was Liberation Day so another Bank Holiday. Nick had to work so Rachel & I went into town for a couple of hours to see all the stuff going on. It was a bit different from previous years as no funfair, instead, there was stunt BMX and skate boarding on North Beach. Oh, I've just remembered what happened last Sunday, we spent the whole day spring-cleaning Jeannie, out boat, which Nick & I are buying Bens share of, so it will belong to just us! She looks ship-shape, all shiny and new.

So back to last Wed, in the late afty we went around to Sue & Lauries, as it was Lauries birthday. They had a BBQ going on and it was cool, lots of people, very good. Thurs & Fri were normal working days, blah blah. Now we're nearly up to speed you see! So then we're up to yesterday, which was a house work day. I cleaned the windows and the front steps, Nick bought some vicious looking hedge cutters and assasinated our fuschia and other bushes in the garden. He turend my fuschia into a big pom pom!! It looks really gay!! Although looking gay isn't a bad thing, it just looks a bit crazy. Went for a curry last night then came home and watched Terry Wogan taking the absolute piss out of the Eurovision Song Contest, the man is a genius.

And now it is Sunday and I have just cut Nicks hair for him and need to now persuade him to come for a walk with me. I need exercise! Weighed myself this morning, not good. Less said about that the better. Haven't been to the gym this week at all, went twice last week though. I need to start going more regularly.

Well thats all for now, I need to go and give Molly some love, her tummy needs a good tickle. Do excuse me for now.

Whoop Whoop

I am at work. As soon as I get out of here I am off to Herm on our boat. First time this year!! Hopefully Rachel will come too. Just need to pick up a crusty baguette and some cheese and I will be off. Nick's out on it at the moment and he's going to collect us from a jetty somewhere. I think a pint in the Mermaid could be in order!

Tonight, hopefully, I will be going to see Pan's Labyrinth at the new Arts Centre.

I can't think of a better plan, first a trip on the boat then a trip to the cinema. Bring on the afternoon!

And check THIS out, it's our new website for our summer party. All Nick's work but I don't mind taking the credit.

I had a lovely night last night, we had a bunch of people around for drinks then went to Christies. We met the tallest man in Guernsey! He was SERIOUSLY tall and I kept asking him his height which I think was a bit rude and people must ask him all the time. Sometimes I should shush my drunk mouth. Anyway, we saw Sue & Laurie, their friend Bjorn, Chris & Sonia, Toki, Fran & Candice.

There are lots of tourists around at the moment, I think they are from Cruise boats. I hope there is a cruise boat parked out there so we can circle it and wave at them.

Narf!

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.A lthough I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...