Chasing the Duclod Man

This is fascinating stuff. Weird and freaky, I grant you, and a strangely compelling story.

Handbags

I had some spare time on my hands this morning, and as as my lovely husband is off to China for 3 weeks on Monday, I decided to invest my time in preparing a 'handbag attack plan'.

I carefully chose several specimens of gorgeousness off the internet and compiled them in to an easy-to-navigate guide as to what I would like best, then printed it off on an A4 sheet so he can take it with him. It's supposed to be a great place for knock-offs you see and I have high hopes that he may comes back with something scrumptious for me, like a Chloe Betty.

It was when I proudly showed my efforts to my colleague and she looked up at me as if I were insane that I realised not all men would be willing to do that. And I might be the slightest bit obsessed in a not-good way about bags. It's true, I don't need a new one, I have one amazing one that I just take everywhere and several cheap/fun ones for special occasions. The thing is, I don't expect anything but if he gets there and is swamped by cheap gorgeous bags I want him to be prepared! Is that so wrong?

I spent my lunch hour feeling hot as I wore my big coat and it is a very warm sunny day. I got some library books out on China for Nick then went and tried on shoes for a wedding I'm going to oop north in April. I found the perfect pair that would go but as soon as I stood up in them they cut into my big toes like razors. Damn shoes.

We're off on holiday for 2 weeks in April, for one week touring around the UK then the second to spend with our friend Katy in Holland. It will be my fifth visit to Holland, but the first where I will have ventured further afield than the smoking dens of Amsterdam, heh heh. OK I did manage a few Art galleries the first time, and a canal boat cruise, but I'm British and it's an obligation to my Country to go there, get stoned and act like a dribbling moron, isn't it?

And another thing, has anyone heard of a Mexican Hat Spider? In my dream the other night it existed and it was a big fluffy black and white tarantula that looked him a Mexican hat when it curled its legs up underneath it. It was such a detailed dream that I can't believe I made it up entirely!!

Je Suis un Bichon Frise

I have such frizzy hair!! Woe is me!

Hello folks, I am back at work sat at my desk in the window, enjoying the noisy vans trundling past and the patchy bit of sunlight that is making it down between the buildings to my little spot.

I have been away! I have had a great few days. It was my Dad's 60th birthday on Saturday 10th, so we surprised him with a trip to London and a grand day out.

My big sis came down from Swansea with her husband and her bump!! Yes she has a bump already! Not surprising really, as she's having TWINS!!!!!

We flew over on Thurs to Southampton and spent Friday with Nick's Mum, as it was her birthday as well. Went for a walk around the New Forest and had lunch in Southampton at the Pitcher & Piano. On Sat morning we drove into London to the Docklands where our hotel was. It had great views over the Thames towards the Gherkin and Tower Bridge.

Sat afternoon 8 of us went to the matinee showing of ** Spamalot ** which was SOOOOOOOO Funny! I was weeping a lot. I love Monty Python. We booked two boxes so felt very posh. After that we had a drink in a very funky bar, it was happy hour, and then we had a table booked in Clos Maggiores, a very nice French restaurant in Covent Garden. That was followed by cake and champers back at the hotel. I think my Dad had a lovely day.

On Sunday morning we went up the London Eye, pretty much what you expect actually. Its very high up and there are good views. The queue is pretty bad, about an hour but then that was at a weekend and on a sunny day. We drove back after that and managed to hit the 6 Nations rugby traffic at Twickenham, which basically was like driving through a parade. After big delays we headed back to Southampton and chilled out.

Monday, drove to Bournemouth, bought a pretty dress at House of Fraser then flew back to Guernsey in the evening. So it was all a pretty perfect weekend and I'm sorry to ram it down your throats if you had a shit one. Now its Wednesday already and I am on a diet. I ate so much rich food the last few days and I feel really disgusting.

Buy this Album, it's so cute.

I bought this on Saturday, it is so very jolly and fun. See I have resorted to advertising on my blog! I am not getting paid though which seems unfair.

I watched a really quite BORING film last night that I thought was going to be good. Walk the Line? It's about Johnny Cash. The songs in it are good and Joaquin Phoenix is, of course, delightful to behold but the film itself didn't really float my boat.

My hair is mega fluffy, despite anti-fluffing measures I performed this morning. Damn hair.

I spent this morning trying to think of different adjectives to use to describe houses. I always stick to the same ones and I need to expand my vocab. Ones I always resort to include:

comfortable, attractive, spacious, well presented, delightful, cosy, character, beautiful, well kept

(of course what I REALLY want to say is poky, smells of cabbage, dank, dirty, falling down etc but that would get me fired, ha ha)...

Oh well I have to go into town now, its my lunch hour and I have a meeting at my bank. I think they want to try some sales tactics on me which I shall politely decline.

The 10 Steps to Happiness

1. Plant something and nurture it
2. Count your blessings - at least five - at the end of each day
3. Take time to talk - have an hour-long conversation with a loved one each week
4. Phone a friend whom you have not spoken to for a while and arrange to meet up
5. Give yourself a treat every day and take the time to really enjoy it
6. Have a good laugh at least once a day
7. Get physical - exercise for half an hour three times a week
8. Smile at and/or say hello to a stranger at least once each day
9. Cut your TV viewing by half
10. Spread some kindness - do a good turn for someone every day

This is according to the BBC, who have recently conducted a 3 month experiment in a village where scientists attempted various methods to improve the happiness of the population. Lovely!

I went to the gym twice at the weekend, and also had my hair done. It is quite a bit shorter, and also quite blonde. Nick had his friend Rew to stay and we went out on Friday which resulted in one of the worst hangovers I've had for a long time. Am definitely getting old. I had to stay in and sip water on Saturday night.

Only a four day week for me this week! Off doing something secret for my Dad's birthday that I can't write here incase he becomes computer literate over night! I know, it's highly unlikely but you never know.

Honeymoon Pictures

Thought I might as well put some pics up on here, they are already on my myspace but I never got aroiund to putting them on my blog! This was last summer. I never got around to telling my whole honeymoon story which was very lame of me. There is a video but I don't think it's on youtube yet.

"Somewhat Lacking in Substance"

I have been 'letting myself go a bit' in blog terms recently, mainly because I have been spending far too much time on myspace, trying to find people then getting all excited when I do find someone new. I'm trying only to have friends that I actually know but I keep getting requests from randoms. I guess that's the way it works!

So, back to my narcissistic blog, which I can't give up because I have been doing it far too long. Is that how you spell narcissistic? OK, self-indulgent. OK, bored at work. Ha ha.

I have had a really busy last few days, evenings-wise at least. Thursday we went to the Swan with Sue & Laurie for some week night drinking, (always regrettable the next day!) then we went out with them again on Friday night to La Cucina, a fairly funky little tapas joint with too-loud music but great food and an over enthusiastic but quite fun waitress.

On Sat night Anna, Katie & SJ came over to ours for a catch up/girlie night as Katie was over just for the weekend. Then I had my folks around Sunday and I cooked a BIG CHICKEN, and then last night, Monday, Rachel & Tam cam around to watch videos. It's so nice to live in town and be able to have people around properly, I love it. But tonight I am going to DO NOTHING. Just chill out. Seriously, I need some shut-eye. And maybe I need to watch the latest Skins as well.

On Sunday afternoon I let a baby cow suck my fingers, which really hurt as it had a raspy tongue, a lot like a cat. If anyone is thinking of letting a cow suck their fingers, I warn you it chafes.

Me give Good suckie suckie

Guernsey cows rule. This little fella really liked sucking my hand, which was kind of gross but very endearing. I want a pet cow.

Make Sense Damnit!

When I am writing these posts they always make perfect sense to me. Always. Then I read them back and I realise that they don't make sense at all. I apologise to anyone reading this who it doesn't make any sense to. My garbled grammar is appauling at times!

Well, Hot Fuzz was wicked. As good as Sean of the Dead, probably. Very good, by the Power of Greyskull!

Well, all of my sales are falling through at work, I've had about 3 in a week. Never mind, we shan't talk about that. I might get into trouble if I write here about what I really think of some of the folk I have to deal with at work.

Download Me

Clicky click here for me on the telly

or you can download me here if you like.

Ahhh, I could get used to this celebrity lifestyle, I really could.

I'm very excited as I'm off to see HOT FUZZ tonight, it looks ace. I have absolutely nothing to blog about today, as I am far too busy and important.*

*(This may not actually be true, it could just be that I have done nothing worth writing about.)

M&S

Oriental Tuna & Soya Bean salad

Check, check check check check it out. What, what what what's it all about?

Serously, it's very good. Mmmmmm.

Sam & Nick versus the Sea

I am sure from the title of this blog that you probably have an inkling of where this story is going. Suffice to say, we both managed to look like a pair of right idiots this weekend. And it all started so well...

Saturday was a glorious day, it was hard to believe it was February. As soon as I finished work I trotted off down to Bordeaux to meet Nick. He had been shopping on the bridge and we decided to go for a lovely romantic walk along the beach. It turned into one of those exciting adventure rambles, you know the sort, where you are scrambling up rocks and peering into rock pools pretending you're in the Famous Five. What is great about Bordeaux is that there are lots of low tide little islands that you can climb onto and we were doing just that. The largest of these we decided to stop and sunbathe on. It was so warm and sunny we sat there dozing for about half an hour. It was so relaxing and was making us both think that Guernsey is wonderful etc etc.

So up we got after a very relaxing time and started to walk back towards land. As we reach the crest of a small hill I watch Nick stop dead. Shit. The sea had sneakily rushed in, at a speed I could hardly fathom, and there was now a stretch of water in between us and the beach approximately the width of a motorway. I completely paniced and basically decided to jump right in and get across quick, as I could see it was getting deeper by the minute. So off went the shoes and socks and up went the trouser legs. Would have been OK apart from the water was waist deep. So I reached the other side, panting and a little bit scared if I'm honest (thoughts of spider crabs were circling my mind) and I looked back to see one forlorn trainer bobbing out to sea like a little blue boat. I had dropped it without realising! So I had to wade back in, again into waist high water and rescue the sodding thing.

Meantime, Nick is doubled up in hysterics on the other side, having watched me flailing across the roiling depths, and cleverly decides to take his trousers off and go across a la Boxer shorts. Which was a very good idea if I'm honest. They also got soaked, and he cut his foot coming across but he made it too without too much bother. It was when he decided to bare himself afterwards in order to do a 'quick change' back into the trousers that was the icing on the cake!

Walking back in squelching wet trousers to the car, an elderly couple stopped us on the path and told us they had been watching our entire performance through their binoculars. Poor Nick, I'm not sure if they meant that end finale as well!

On Saturday night we went out to Christies with SJ & Mike, then on to Rachels flat as she had a few people around. Then I slept until 1pm on Sunday, hurrah! When I finally surfaced I went for a stroll to Soldiers Bay, and in the evening Rachel came around and we watched Barton Fink, which was absolutely brilliant.

PS Katie you are such a paedo!! But I sneakily agree with you. And Ant I am very pleased that you agree with me on the Donaldson, I am waiting for his new book to come out which I think is happening in October. Very very excited about that.

Skins

I am absolutely loving skins. It is the best thing since sliced bread, and crusty granary buttered bread at that. We stayed up watching episodes last night and smoking Spice Gold, which smells like cats piss but does work, somehow. Anyway, watch it if you can, it is probably the best thing on the telly at the moment.

To combat all this good telly we also watched the worstest film I have evvvvvvver seen in my 27 years of life last night. Alien Siege WTF?? What was annoying was that it had a really good plot.

It's set in the present day, a load of bad-ass aliens come down to earth and demand 8 million people as human sacrifices. Their race are dying and it is the only way they can save themselves. They have superior fire power, intelligence and blah blah blah. So the government agrees to it and people are 'harvested' up and killed horrbily on the alien mother ship. A lowly bunch of freedom fighters take on the aliens and the government combined and strive to save the day. Sound good, right? No. Worst waste of two hours of my life. Anyway, lets not dwell.

I have finished Eragon, which ruled, and am waiting for the library to get in the sequel, Eldest. I can't believe he managed to write that when he was 15.

In the meantime I am trying to read some pure 70's sci fi fiction, in the form of Julian May. I'm not sure if it's quite up my street. but I loved the Gap Series by Stephen Donaldson, so much that I thought I would give another author a go. I am also thinking about rereading the Terry Goodkind novels, as he seems to have written about 10 new ones and I only got a far as the first 4 or so the first time around. I don't know if the later books would be as good though, some reviews have been quite bad.

Am off then, out tonight with friends and going to the gym this afternoon. I'm at work at the moment hence the long, rambling blog entry. You should all read Stephen Donaldson and Terry Goodkind. They rule. And I have read a lot of fantasty/sci fi so am a reliable person to judge. Also, the Drenai series by David Gemmell, (R.I.P) although it is quite cheesy it is very enjoyable.

Don't forget to watch me 2nite!

I am such a fame whore.

Mouldy Teeth

Ahhhhhh, Valentines day. I kind of feel a bit let down by the whole thing. We tried, we really did, but we were both feeling really really knackered yesterday and although we were sat in a beautiful restaurant eating gourmet food, we just couldn't summon the energy required to enjoy ourselves. How sad! What an old married couple. But really, it's all so terribly manufactured. When the waiter offered me a red rose at the end I was thinking how vile. But you end up feeling awful if you don't get a card or try to make ot special, there is just too much pressure. Next year, I think we will stay in. I ate so much rich food that I am going to have to spend the rest of the week in penance.

I took Molly to the vets yesterday for her booster, she miowed constantly in the car and then when we were in the waiting room I think she was actually having a 'who can miow the loudest' contest with a nearby cat. Molly lost, this other cat had the loudest miow ever.

So there was a lovely young vet, an Ozzie I think, and I think that Molly quite fancied him cos she settled right down and started purring when he stroked her. Turns out she still has a swollen thyroid and a racing heart so he is a little bit concerned. Also, she has gingivitus, which we kind of guessed from her incresingly rancid breath of late. So although not really mouldy, as in the title, they are still not good and she has been put on a course of antibiotics to sort it. I think the racing heart was just because she was a bit scared so I'm not too worried about that. Anyway, £45 bloody quid for all that. I know! Terrible eh.

I'm off to have lunch with Rachel today, I will try to order healthy. Although the cafe is called 'Piece of Cake' so I think I may have trouble.

Weird Local Celebrity Status

I had my first taste of it this morning. Phoned up a lady to book an appointment and she said that she saw me on the telly last night in an advert for tomorrows programme. I absolutely went bright red and everyone was laughing at me in the office!! Nice. I haven't seen the ad myself so have no idea what I look like. I have heard what I sound like though (down the phone to Nick as he was editing it yesterday) and I sound like a little girl. What is with that??

Am feeling slightly hungover as was drinking beer/wine/whisky & becherovska last night. Nice mix! Luckily only small amounts of each so not too horrific. Still, I plan on going home at lunchtime and curling up into a small ball.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

I would like the world to know that by big sister...

is Up the Duff

Eating for Two

Has a Bun in the Oven

is Ensuring her Legacy

is Knocked Up

in the Pudding Club

is Keith Cheggars

and various other annoying yet appropriate phrases.

Yes! I'm going to be an Auntie! Auntie Sam!! I have been waiting for ages to tell people but one has to wait for these things to progress to a certain level before letting the world at large know. Anyway, that time has come. They found out at Christmas which made the whole festive season that little bit better! Well done Suzi & Simon! xxxxx

Becherovska!

Hello folks, I am returned from Prague, or Praha, as it is known by the locals. I have discovered the delights of Becherovska! Which is a spicy drink you mix with tonic, a la gin and tonic but this instead of gin, with ice and a slice. Mmmmm! Yummy foreign drinks.

So, after a few wobbles we got there OK. Our flight from Guernsey was delayed on Thursday and our connecting flight was then cancelled, so we ended up having to fly Easyjet and didn't arrive until much later than expected so we got no filming done that day.

After a mimimum amount of sleep we were up and out very early on Friday morning. The filming started at the hotel breakfast buffet and basically didn't stop all day! We ran around the city like a trio of loons, carrying around all this camera equipment and getting stared at and told off by policemen for filming illegally on the Charles Bridge!! But we got to do loads of great stuff, the hotel laid it on super thick as we were filming a Valentines special, we got free booze, chocolates, amazing gourmet food in 5 star surroundings. The hotel gave our their best suite which included a lounge, walk in entrance room and two bathrooms!

I found the Czech language very hard to master as there are lots of z's and k's, and although the city is achingly beautiful the people are pretty wise to tourists and clearly there have been too many stag weekends etc spoiling the place which has left them pretty suspicious. Our guide Peter warned us about pickpockets but luckily we didn't get into any trouble. The weirdest thing was going around with camera equipment, everybody stops and stares at you. And when we were filming you got all these twats running up and waving their arms and shouting behind you. Which by the end just wasn't funny as I found it tricky to remember my lines.

Still, all in all we were treated like absolute royalty and although only there for a very short time I got enough of a feeling for the city to realise I would like to go back for longer. I saw my Astronomical Clock and giant metronome, although not the Lennon graffiti wall. We also got to see where Madonna and Daniel Craig stayed in a hotel, where they filmed a scene from Mission Impossible, and also where 20 severed heads were hung from a tower. Great! We had lunch in a 5 star hotel where they were real Dali's, Picasso's and Chagall paintings on the walls. And I have pulled a big muscle in my chest from lugging everything around that is still hurting today.

Anyhoo, the fruits of my exploits will be shown on ITV this Thursday just after the 6pm news. That's ITV Channel islands. For those unable to get the channel it will also be aired on their website soon after. Click here.

Lifted off the BBC Website:

This is a girl I went to school with. Watch it if you can!
............................................................................................................

Super Slim Me: A Mischief Special

BBC 3, Wed 7 Feb, 9:00 pm - 10:00 pm 60mins

Writer and TV presenter Dawn Porter is on an all-consuming mission to see what it takes to shrink from her curvy UK size 12 figure to the much-touted, super-skinny Hollywood zero. Surviving on a diet of just 500 calories a day, she hunts down the stylists, designers and agencies who are responsible for making skinniness not only appear possible, but also the ultimate goal for any dedicated follower of fashion.

Existing on the minimum celebrity nibbles that her army of medical experts will allow, her journey begins in Hollywood, the birthplace of zero. Dawn heads to Madrid to talk to Fashion Show Director Leonor Perez Pita, who recently banned super-skinny models from the catwalk and who thinks the UK should do the same.

After a flying visit to Madrid to size zero icon Victoria Beckham's house Dawn hits the UK with a variety of mischievous stunts to try to get someone to take responsibility for the super-skinny craze. [S]

Roosting Cats

I guess there is a dog below the tree and they are all hiding out of its reach.

The Great Ugg Debate

So. Everyone was ganging up on me last night telling me that Uggs are out of fashion! How very dare they. I exhibit the above evidence. If they're good enough for Kate Bosworth and Thandie Newton.... (not to mention Sienna, Kate et all)

By everyone, I mean chiefly Nick, who hates the idea of me buying a pair. Then Susan and Sarah joined in with telling me that I am basically a big saddo if I buy a pair. This, teemed with the deprecating comment my cousin made the other week about it how I purchase a pair then I should feel very guilty about my carbon footprint (!?!?!) is just making me want to BUY THEM EVEN MORE!! Everyone says I shouldn't so I damn well will. I have always thought that they look really cute with jeans and I get very cold feet and they are supposedly the warmest things in the world ever. And despite having been 'in' for over two years now I don't think they are going to go 'out' of fashion as they are too damn comfy. And if you buy proper Uggs or Emus apparentely they don't lose their shape like the cheap knock-offs.

Well, I will give it a few weeks and if I haven't gone off the idea I might get a pair.

I am reading Eragon at the moment. It is really great!! I love it. I watched the film the other week with Rachel. I am also reading Goldfinger by Ian Fleming, which is also great. And finally I am also reading the rough guide to Prague. I must watch out for taxi drivers and pickpockets apparentely!! I will have to be on my toes.

Prague here I come

I guess I won't be seeing all of these sights, as we're only staying for two nights. But I especially want to see the astronomical clock:

Very Excited.

So I have been googling like crazy and also looking on Wikipedia about Prague. We are there for two nights and we are staying HERE. Isn't it pretty! I feel amazingly priviliged to be going. Our hotel is very close to the Palace in the Mala Stram which is the old, historial part of the city.

Nick says we are going to be rushing around and that it will be quite hard work but I don't mind at all. It's a free holiday in one of the most beautiful cities in the world! We will be going to all of the major tourist places, which all sound fascinating, like the Medieval Astronomical Clock that shows the phases of the Sun, Moon, the Zodiac and sunset and sunrise as well as the time of day in modern and old Czech time. Cool. Apparentely is has many moving parts and the 12 Apostles come out and dance.

I hope it's not too cold, that is my only worry. Along with being filmed by a camerawoman. I am so not used to presenting and I will be expected to say stuff about the city etc etc. Am a bit scared but Nick does it all the time so I should probably just chill out about it. I am a bit of a twat on camera, as previous home video footage illustrates. I wil drink lots of cheap czech beer as Ant recommends and then I won't be so nervous.

I still can't believe I'm going. Don't want to go on about it too much incase I jinx it. Am trying not to talk about it too much at work as I appreciate it is probably very annoying for all of my workmates. That is why I am rambling on about it here!! Got to let off the steam of my excitement somehow.

OK so it was a bit tricky...

Seeing as no one is reading this today and I can't wait I am going to just tell you.


We are going on an all expenses paid trip to Prague!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Courtesy of my lovely husbands work. I have never been there, so I have been googling it like mad. Apparentely the city has a giant working metronome, cool! The catch is that we are only there for one whole day and we have to be filmed for a programme. But it's a holiday programme so hopefully we will be doing all lovely things.

How COOL is that. I am in shock. Apparentely they wanted a 'married couple' for the programme and Nick volunteered us. Brilliant. I came back to the office after a nightmarish appointment this morning and everyone was kind of smiling and acting all coy and they told me to call Nick. Turns out he had already OKayed it with my work while I had been out.

Anyway there is a massive ancient castle, a pretty bridge, an Old Quarter and a graffiti wall called the Lennon wall from the 1960's that is really famous. I just need to brush up on my Czech and get some currency. Woo hoooooooooooo! So I've had a good day.

Guess What I'm doing!?

... Next Thursday, Friday and Saturday?


Here's a clue: It involves leaving Guernsey on a plane and being filmed by a camerawoman.

!!!!!?!?!???!!?!??!??!!!!

Amnesia Story...

That is so weird.

I am still at work, but I finish in about 12 minutes. I think I will go home and sleep.

Repetitive Saturday Injury

I'm not really injured, I was just trying to be clever.

I am sat at work with the hangover. from. hell. Its not too bad, its not the worst I've ever had but it is still from hell. Just because it is. I knew it was time to leave the Doghouse last night when the room started to spin and luckily Rachel was my knight in shining armour (or damsel in shining armour?) and drove me home. Yet again she looked after me in a drunken state. I left Nick there but he got home later I guess because I found him in the spare room this morning, passed out surrounded by piles of clothes and many glasses of water. So I guess when he wakes up he will be feeling pretty shit too. But at least he gets to lie in!

Anyway I think I had a lovely time last night and I think the band were really good, although I didn't really listen to them all that much. The pub was VERY busy and they have this cool Morrocan smoking tent out the back which I liked a lot. (You can't smoke inside any more in pubs in Guernsey.) We saw lots of people that we hadn't seen for a while. We all went around to Fran's flat first and Fiona, her flatmate was watching Eastenders in the other room and came in all excited because it was the OLD GUY that killed Pauline apparentely! And then he tried to kill Dot or something as well!! I might have to watch the Sunday omnibus, although I could probably get away with just watching the last five minutes of it as that's when it all happens.

Sooooo, apart from last nights frolics I haven't done all that much this week. I went around to my cousins the other night for her son's 5th birthday which was cool. Got to sing happy birthday and eat cake. Always good. Work has been busy all week and there are people looking in the window right now at me which I generally find a bit weird. I always think are they looking at the property details or are they looking in at ME? Luckily they can't really see the computer screen cos I was just watching clips of Heman adverts from the 80's on myspace.

Cat Terror

I had a terrifying few minutes last night where Molly went missing and I thought that she had climbed into the washing machine when I was loading it. Turns out she was just shut into the upstairs bedroom but I had turned the machine off and was waiting for the door to unlock and I was trying to see into the machine and it looked very much like there was a cats paw sticking out of the clothes inside. Gah! Stupid cat. She always sneaks around and gets into places she shouldn't be.

Anyway.

Am finally going to the pictures tonight because I didn't go the other night because Rachel was really ill. So, she's better now and we're off to Los Malardos. Ole.

I got hailed on today, and now my ear aches. I am being really (OK, quite) good at still going to the gym and generally trying not to eat like a glutton. Work is just tooooooo busy I hardly have time to blog. I know, how dare they. Managed to sell the crazy busy house that the whole world wanted to see so thankfully I don't have to go there anymore on viewings.

Guernsey is generally a bit cold and shitty and very windy at the moment. It's quite nice though because it actually feels like Winter rather than a mild Autumn. No snow, but, as I said, there is hail.

Thinking about travelling, and campervans. And Ugg boots.

Genius! Thanks B3ta.

Work work work

My work has been very busy today. We've got a couple of properties on the market that are making people a bit crazy with excitement so we're doing non stop viewing and it is all quite exhausting. It does make the day go faster though which can't be bad! And people keep asking me for directions and I am officially the WORST direction giver in the world ever. I won't be surprised if we lose a few viewers on the way.

I haven't been to the gym since Sunday, I have just felt like a bog lazy slug all week. I will try to go tonight. I don't think we are going out tonight but all we have planned so far this weekend is a meal out tomorrow night, and now also a trip to the cinema on Sunday night. To see Eragon! Yes! Cheesy dragon goodness with Jeremy Irons. I love shit like that. I used to always draw dragons when I was younger, they were my 'thing'. My friends used to let me draw them onto their arms in biro at school. I rocked at dragon tattoos.

Bored

I'm so bored. I'm so bored I can't even compose an intelligent blog entry. Am just feeling a bit tired and thinking maybe I will go to bed in a minute. Nick's spent the evening booking flights and stuff on the internet for us which is good because I am very disorganised and never get around to these things. Also, we did our tax return this evening and I cut his hair. See! It has been a very boring evening! I don't know what's the matter with me. There is thing on the telly about people with silly amounts of money and how they spend it. I might be a little bit depressed because Nick explained to me that we have only paid off about 5k of our mortgage this year and we have paid about 11k on interest. I hate mortgages so much! And Molly is staring at me with what looks like a lustful gaze, which is a bit scary.

We are off to the UK in April and also to see our friend Katy who lives just outside Amsterdam in Holland. How exciting!! We're going to do a weeks road trip in England, starting with a mates wedding on the Scottish border, then possibly Bristol, Wales, the South West... then flying from Southampton to Schipol airport for the second week. Fun! And it's over Easter so we benefit from the two bank holidays which is great. I just need to confirm the time off at my work. Hope I get it as we've booked the flights. Eek! Cassie, got your email the other day - sorry haven't replied but would absolutely love to see you when we're over. Where are you living now?

Am going now, off to bed to sleep and get away from my lesbian cat.

First Snog Anniversary

So, yesterday was our first snog anniversary. 8 years ago I think! Could be 7, can't work it out because my brain hurts. Anyway, a long time.

I remember when we first 'got it together' at Uni. We were housemates, best mates, and both pretty much single, although we both had previous stuff kind of still going on. Anyway we decided to sneak around for a couple of weeks before plucking up the courage to tell our housemates as we knew once we told them that THAT WOULD BE IT. And it was. Didn't help that we were also living with my ex who was also one of Nicks very best mates. No indeed. Oooh, writing this is bringing it all back!

Well, after a messy old start we found out that we did indeed like each other very much. We've been together so long now I can't imagine back to a time when we weren't together. That might have something to do with all the pot I smoked back then though. We got it together in the house of hideous colours. Our landlady thought it would be fun and trendy to paint each room various combinations of bright yellow, acid green and pink.

So, we went around to Sue & Lauries last night for a meal, that happened to coincide with this epic milestone in our relationship(!). She made lemon curd icecream. Sue. it was lovely. And tonight we venture into town for some drinks. I may wear this sweater dress thing. Whether I wear jeans underneath it or not depends on how cold it is.

Also

I know I haven't mentioned it yet, so here goes. Celebrity big Brother. I would rather swallow my own tongue than have to live in there with the Jade posse.

I hope either Leo, Jo from S Club or Face from the A Team wins.

A right old Hoo-Haa

So last night was quite exciting. Not because I got slightly pissed while trying to cook a shepherds pie but because Nick's programme went out on the telly.

If anyone wants to see it, it can be found here, along with the after show web chat that they did. After it aired, Nick had the mum & dad Watsons in the TV studio and they stayed around answering people's questions after the show until aboutt 9:15pm. They had over a thousand people trying to access the website and I couldn't get on it from home. Then there were pages of comments on the Whyguernsey site, which Steve kindly showed me yesterday. Seems like the story hit a nerve slightly to say the least. Anyway, I think they are going to do a follow up story about it on the news tonight which should be interesting. I really can't believe how many bitter people there were on the website, all damning the children which is totally wrong. Anyway, I'm just going to climb on down from my high horse.

Besides that, I don't have much news. Gym - work - home - work - gym is my life at the moment. I've started to read 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time' which is quite a good book and I've just finished another excellent autobiography - 'Born on a Blue Day' about a guy my age with Aspergers syndrome. Amazing, he was just like Dustin Hoffman in the Rainman but he wrote this book himself. Very very interesting reading.

I've bought a sweater dress thing just now in my lunch hour, am I a fashion victim? It looked quite nice on.

Shameless Advertising

For anyone out there who lives in the Channel Islands, or has Sky and can figure out how to get the channel (nb my sister managed in Wales so I know it's possible) my husband has a documentary airing tomorrow night at 7:30pm on ITV Channel.

It's called 'At Home with the Watsons' and he had to spend a week living with this family to make it in the run up to Christmas. I've seen it and it's really good. I know, I'm biased but there you go. I'm obviously really really proud of him and I know how hard he's worked on it recently. It's a bit of a contentious issue so will probably spark a few debates in the island. Hurrah! It's about a mum and dad with 12 children who live on benefit, basically. There's a lot more to it than and the kids are all really lovely. We had the mum and dad over to our house to interview them just before Christmas which was really interesting.

I spent yesterday test-driving a big massive gas guzzling 4x4 that Nick wants to buy. We drove it through some big puddles and then had to hose it down before we took it back to the garage. I also went to the gym and nearly made myself pass out on the crosstrainer before cooking a roast lamb for my Dad & his partner. All in all a good Sunday. Just call me a domestic goddess because my lamb was dang tasty. I also smoked a fag so woops-a-daisy. I have a training session at the gym tonight on this new piece of machinery that vibrates and basically shakes the weight off you. Hmmmm!

Not that I believe in them BUT

Last year I made a few New Years Resolutions, and I pretty damn near managed to stick to them. I dwindled a little towards the end of the year which was a bit shit of me, so I am reinstating those ones again. They were as follows:

1) Quit smoking.
(I managed this with out 95% accuracy. I didn't smoke a cig at all until the honeymoon, which was about 6 months. Since then I have had the occasional few, mainly on nights out where my moralistic values have gone out of the window because of alcohol. I despise the smell of cigs on my fingers though so this should be pretty easy to keep this year.)

2) Do more exercise.
(I joined the gym last September and have tried to go 2 - 3 times a week. This dropped off in December, I didn't go for about 3 weeks so I have to start again now. I also got my bike over from Devon and souped it up with a new bell and a good clean. So this Summer I am all set for bike rides.)

3) Cook more and eat healthier
(Varied success last year, especially if you focus on the honeymoon and Christmas binge. I did experiment with a few more foods though, like fish which scares me. And I tried some recipes from my various cookery books. And I am going to cook a gammon tomorrow for the first time for my Dad & his girlfriend. so we're off to a good start.)

So yes, I know they are boring ones and probably the same as everyone elses. I would also like to generally improve my intelligence by reading more (ie not trashy novels)and paying more attention to important news type stuff. And while we're on a wish list I would love to improve my French. But who the hell knows what 2007 may bring? I may get run over by a bus tomorrow so I'm not going to get too far ahead of myself. My other biggie is to keep in touch with all my mates who aren't in Guernsey as I am generally very lame at this and now I live out here I realy should make more of an effort.

Yesterday I spent 2 1/2 hours taking down the Christmas tree and decorations and having a good old hoover up of pine needles. Hoovering pine needles is very satisfying. And after work today I get my hair done!! Hooray!

A Sheepish Return

I know I know its been so long, I even considered maybe NOT coming back to this blog, but then I thought no, I must continue. I must carry on with this, as Magnus would say "I have started so I shall finish". Although if finishing means dying, (presumably) then I would have to pre-write a suitable epitaph. Something like THE END, IT'S VERY WHITE AND FLUFFY OVER HERE IN HEAVEN AND I CAN SPIT ON THE PEOPLE DOWN BELOW HA HARRRRR THEY THINK IT'S RAIN!

Oooh I must not ramble. I must tell you that I had a very lovely Christmas, that was the reason I started this. Before I got distracted. Today I am sneezing and my throat hurts when I sneeze. It is clearly the onset of some horrific post-Christmas flu. Damn. Also, I am very tired as I was kept awake very late last night by Nick who couldn't get to sleep so I'm in a bit of a shitter of a mood. Also I have PMT, my hair feels greasy and I am too scared to weigh myself after the Chritmas food binge.

Anyway, enough negativity. Christmas, though, was brilliant, and started off with Nick's mum, dad and little sister coming to stay. I managed to pull off a Christmas turkey dinner although the pudding never got eaten because I put far too much food on each plate. We had a house party on Christmas Eve which was also Nick's sister birthday, and quite a few folk came which was ace. We did lots of eating and drinking and all had some lovely presents.

After Christmas they went back and my sister and her husband flew over for New Years Eve. We had a wicked time and it made me realise how much I miss them not being around all the time : ( but there you go. On New Years Eve itself we had my cousins and their husbands/fiances around and did much kareoke. (Singstar party.) There was tequila, absinthe and other cocktail type drinks. We were suitable entertained. I was suitably hungover for lunch at my aunties on New Years Day.

And now all our guests have left, and I am back at work. Nick is in Jersey for a few days doing some editing, and I am going to catch up on some sleep, go to the gym and have my roots done on Saturday.

Molly also had a good time. Over the whole period, she managed to lick/eat her way through a pack of butter, some uncooked pastry, a plate of mince pies and a packet of biscuits I left on the lounge carpet. The funniest was when my cousin Joey tried to shoo her off the dining table (and mince pies) and she leapt over the candle I had put in the centre and managed to singe the fur on her tummy. Don't worry she didn't burn herself but there was an awful stink of burnt cat hair. Also, she tried to eat the tree and knocked over just about every card I put up. Anyway she is still quite skinny believe it or not after all that!

I had to put this picture here

Because it looks just like Molly when she's not impressed by something we are doing to her. Aww.

I walked to work!

Isn't that something. It took me 20 minutes. My fingers and nose got very cold, it is proper Christmas weather today.

So my in laws did not arrive last night as they're plane was cancelled. So instead today they are travelling across on the slow ferry, which takes around 7 hours. Poor things. In the mean time I can have a few drinks at lunchtime and make merry. My house is extra tidy today as I had an extra evening to do stuff. I also watched some of the Hogfather, which was good. I'm so glad they are coming for sure, but I think they will be miserable on that ferry.

Decks the halls with bows of holly, fa la la la laaaaaaaaa la la la la.

To be here or not to be here?

The bets are on.

My in-laws are due to be touching down at Guernsey airport this evening to join us for Christmas. I have bought the (M&S frozen with bacony stuffingy bits) turkey, smoked salmon, about half a tonne of nibbly snacks and a mountain of toilet roll amonst a lot of other stuff.

I have had a strict regime of tidying the house, including such delights as cleaning the windows inside and out, mowing the lawn, removing about 20 cat turds from the lawn, cleaning out drains, removing-washing-ironing and putting back on the sofa covers and cushions plus about a hundred trips to the supermarket for stuff I just remembered in a panic.

And now the weather gods, lets call them Suckhead and Poobum for short, have given us fog. A thick shroud of pea soup fog. And they say it is not clearing until after Christmas. So it might just be me, my husband and Molly curled up on the sofa pulling all the crackers ourselves and giving ourselves type 2 diabetes from all of the Roses chocolates we have consumed in abject misery.

Saying that, there are quite a few friends, relatives etc here in Guernsey and I'm sure a lot of them are in the same boat as us. Well, not literally in a boat because then we would sail over to England and fetch all the people. And my turkey is frozen so I can always leave it in the freezer for another occasion. And I can go out on Christmas Eve and get really hammered without having to worry about waking up early and cooking a feast while trying not to vomit into the gravy! There is always a plus side.

Mince Pies Banjaxed.

Made one round of mince pies at the weekend. Took the second batch of pastry out of the fridge and I realised it was a bit too cold so left in on the kitchen counter for a few minutes. That was all the time it took for Molly to smell the pastry and hop up onto the counter and sink her feline teeth into it. Bah.

So I have been out buying more flour and butter this afternoon. I also met a girl on a viewing who used to be my sisters best friend at Primary school and that was very cool, because I'm like, about a foot taller than her now, ha ha, and anyway she was lovely. Just not as tall as I remembered her. She has babies and all sorts as well.

We had a weird old night on Friday. Lets just say we had to have several people around for work related reasons. Not my work, you understand, as that would have actually been quite nice. This wasn't. Anyway one of the persons who came, and they shall remain un named, was a bit whiffy and when they left the sofa smelt of BO. How lovely. So I took it upon myself to take off ALL the sofa covers and bunged the whole lot in the wash. Hence, my entire Sunday was spent ironing bastard sofa covers. Nick installed a heated towel rail and an electric fan heater in the downstairs shower room, as he is a DIY genius.

Also, as a result of Friday night, I discovered the delights of Lambrusco! Having never tasted this I imagined something quite vile and sickly, as it is such a chav drink. But it tasted just like shloer, which is a favourite of mine, so I am now officially a Lambrusco drinking chav. I have decided not to even try babycham, as I'm bound to love it.

And I'm going out tonight to a lovely pub to have a few drinks with Chris & Sonia, as we missed Chris's burthday meal yesterday. Its a really Christmassy pub so yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

This Christmas Fairy will grant you 3 wishes...

Dinner

I am having my Dad & his partner around for dinner tonight, as they are off to Devon on Friday for Christmas and are not back until January. I bought an M&S treacle pudding!! Yum.

I have just come back from a house that had the worst dribbling cat in the world. It was quite a lovely, affectionate cat but was just dribbling absolute reams of gobber onto the floor. Also, the man I met there had a gold tooth and I could not help but stare at it. It was truly mesmerising. The house itself was one of those sad ones that we see a lot. I mean it was a grannie type person living there that had either died or gone into a home and makes you feel sad because of all their oldey worldy belongings still there. We get a lot of those. We also get a few crazies, recently we had a house and the woman had stabbed the husband! Oh, I have so many good stories but I don't like to talk too much about work stuff here incase my boss ever reads this and I get fired.

Nick is making a programme this week for the local TV channel he works for, so he is working really late all week. I won't say what its about incase he wants to keep it a secret, but its quite interesting and I guess it would be classed as Reality TV. So he's having lots of fun.

Second and Third Parts of the Wedding!

Click to your hearts content!

And if that's not enough...

Click some more.

We have the whole thing, speeches, dancing, drinking, travelling to Herm aboard the Trident... oh yes. James' Best Man speech still makes me laugh.

Next one will be the honeymoon. Nick did a lot of editing/putting stuff on youtube when he was poorly last week so its all thanks to him.

Blisters!

Apparentely I woke Nick up in the night by shouting "Blisters!!" in my sleep. I have no idea what I was dreaming about but it doesn't sound good.

I while ago I was found to be muttering "ummmm, Pistachios, lovely lovely" over and over.

What does it mean? My subconcious is so juvenile.

Blogging for no Reason

I say that because I don't really have much in the way of news, but I think it is bad to not blog so I would rather ramble on about nothing than say nothing. If you get my drift.

So.

At the moment I have tide marks on my boots from being out in the continual downpour that is Guernsey weather today. I popped into town for my cheap xmas stamps and the queue in the post office was horrifique. Everyone had the same idea as me, clearly. I also managed to buy some xmas cards so I will start writing, and hopefully finish writing, tonight.

At the weekend we did not make it over to Jersey, which I was very happy about as I had not a thing to wear and I got lots of shopping done here amonst the evil hoards of town. We also bought and decorated our tree, and put pretty outside lights on the balcony and in the garden. Whilst in the garden Nick discovered that Molly is not burying her human-sized-cat-turds in the flower border anymore but just laying them on the grass lawn. I think it is because the garden is all muddy and she thinks it is one big litter tray, but it is very disgusting and I will have to go out and remove them at some point. And also try to train her to go back to her old poo-zone.

We discovered the delights of Wok Wok on Saturday and feasted on their lunchtime fiver deal, (which was amazingly good value, DO go) and on Sunday we went for cheeseburgers at the Red Onion and coffees at the Swan Inn, which has gone all country pub like with a big roaring fire. Lovely. So we have done lots of eating this weekend, and I didn't make it to the gym. I will have to go tonight I guess, out of guilt.

Our house is all Christmassy and I can't wait to get home. Nick is finally back at work today after a week off, his shingles have receded like the shingle on a beach.

I have decided if I die and come back as another creature I want to be a Whale shark.

What I did today

I fell over in the middle of town today.

yes, I made a twat out of myself but skidding on my oh-so-lovely-but-clearly-have-no-grip boots and hitting the deck while walking down a hilly part of town (Smith St if you know Guernsey) and three people ran over to me to ask if I was alright. How lovely! It made me feel very embarrased but also happy that they cared.

Also, in other news, my cat has started drinking out of the toilet bowl. Yes, I went into the bathroom last night to find a pair of back legs and a swishing tail protruding from the bowl and on further inspection discovered the rest of my cat having a good old drink down below. nice.

We are supposed to be flying across to Jersey this weekend. The flights are all paid for but my hubby still has chicken pox and probably shouldn't go. At the same time its a free trip and the shops are at least different from over here. Haven't decided what to do. Should probably stay and get the christmas tree sorted though if I'm honest.

Unclean! Unclean!

So, weirdly, it turns out that my husband may have shingles. This is basically, for those who don't know (and I sure as hell didn't) adult chickenpox. If you have had chicken pox as a child then it lays dormant in your body and after a period of roughly 25 years it is possibly to have a reoccurance. It is very common and affects about 25% of the adult population. And it is mostly likely to happen when your immune system is rundown or weak. So, he was taking steriods for his bad knee and this may have knocked his immune system slightly, and brought the whole thing on. Anyway! Apparentely I won't get it because I have had chicken pox so can't catch it from someone else but it is contagious to those who have never had it before. Complicated!! He mustn't go near anyone old, very young, pregnant or anyone with a weak immune system.

This is all assuming that it what it is. The doc seemed pretty sure but you never know. He is making him take antivirals to hopefully nip it in the bud. But we are supposed to be going to a Christmas party tonight and I don't know if we should go or not! Its like we've got the plague or something. I feel like we need to go around shouting 'Unclean! Unclean!' ringing bells and wearing tatty Victorian robes. By the way, apart from a very sore tummy Nick is pretty much OK. I am back being nursey again. Also to Molly who has taken it upon herself to have an attack of the sicks the last couple of days.

Sitemeter

Since setting up a free sitemeter on this page, I have discovered:

a) that it is mostly me reading this

b) I am multicultural! It won't tell me who you are but it tells me I have a visitor from Senegal! And also one from Portugal.

As my cosmopolitan readers I'm sure will appreciate, I have been shopping! Yes, again. I think I am one of those women who has an illness and should be slapped around (mentally, of course) on a reality TV show and told to clear out her wardrobe. In the meantime, I will relish the thought of my new hat, coat and boots that I purchased in my lunch hour.

Tonight I get to go to my friends flat for a meal and closely observe two of my friends who seem to be getting together since the other weekend when they snogged in Folies. YAY!

Also, I am having a hot flush as I write this.

Baby!!

Here are Matt, Sarah and baby Oliver David, who looks like the cutest thing since I don't even know what. Massive congratulations are due.

Handbags at Dawn

I found myself being stopped in a supermarket carpark today by a well dressed, cheerful lady. She asked me what 'season' my handbag was from, because she liked the colour and wanted to get one for her daughter. We then had a lovely chat about how old my bag was and how it compares favourably in size to the Chloe Paddington.

Sometimes I really love Guernsey people.

PS I haven't got a clue what season my bag is from. At a guess I would say Autumn, because it is brown. And I still really want the Chloe Betty that I almost bought in Thailand but didn't and then went back the next day and it was gone.

I am feeling quite chirpy about Christmas, as I have completed a fair amount of my shopping. That is, I have got all the main presents, bar a couple of difficult people, and it is still only November. I have to get it finished early this year as we having people over to stay. I have many many food concerns. I am excited though!

And tonight, Miss Moneypenny, I am off to see Casino Royale. My hair is very greasy so I hope I don't see anyone that I know there. (I will see my Dad, who is also coming, but it doesn't matter if my hair is greasy because, lets face it, he's seen far worse over the years in his time being my parent.)

I haven't spoken about Molly for a while. She is fine, and when my Dad saw her the other day remarked on how she seems to be getting fat. It may just be her Winter coat but she does seem more bulky, which is fantastic as she always has been a skinny little runt cat.

My clever husband

Extreme Proudness!

More things to click on I'm afraid! Nick picked up an award at the weekend for being a great reporter. He really should have said that he owes it all to Alan Partridge in his speech! I am such a proud wifey, he really didn't think he would get it.

I had a lazy weekend. Was planning to go over to Herm on Saturday but the torrential rain foiled this plan. I went out to a house party on Saturday night which was very good, in a 1920's way! And yesterday I went around to my Dads house and ate roast lamb. Also went shopping in town and went for lunch with Rachel on Saturday.

Tonight I have a yummsy celebratory meal planned, courtesy of M&S. Mmmm.

First Part of our Wedding Vid!

Clicky Clicky!!

There is sound and everything, and there is lots more video to come, when Nick gets around to it.

Quick Entry

... Ooo er Mrs! Just a quick post because I am at work and have to go on a viewing in a minute. But I went home for lunch and my lovely husband (who is the walking wounded and ill off work) had made me lunch, a pot of tea and had made a proper coal fire.

I am a lucky girl. And I have a very lucky cat who loved the fire even more than she loved the tun mayo that we gave her.

My hubby has started editing our honeymoon video, finally! Males me realise that I never got around to telling the whole honeymoon story on this blog, which I always meant to do. OK, well when I am bored at work next, I will tell the story of Tokyo and Thailand. I had finished California hadn't I? When the video is done I will put it onto Youtube. Our wedding is on there, I will have to find out what the linkage is and put it on here.

Ribena Knee

Hello! Well, I have had a good weekend thanks for asking. I went out on Friday night avec ma mari to Laskas, Christies and then Folies of all terrible places!! I was a bit drunk and found Christies a bit disorientating. they have moved the toilets upstairs and it has all changed around. I think I may have not paid for a bowl of chips in my confusion. Anyway. A funny old night punctuated by, well, my husband did something funny but I don't want to get him into trouble by saying what, but I tried to hold a conversation with a French man and we were playing with one of those glow in the dark lightsticks and tore it open and flicked everyone with glowing liquid. I also visited the Ribshack but luckily no food poisoning.

Saturday was a recovery day, with a bit of xmas shopping thrown in. Sunday was pretty lazy, we had a proper fire and I cooked a mammouth roast dinner. I made cauliflower cheese! But I put too much nutmeg in it and it tasted a bit strange. Our friends Katie & SJ popped around for a cuppa on Sunday afty which was lovely, I hadn't seen Katie since the summer!

Yesterday, Nick went back to the doctors about his knee which was still swollen and hurty. The doc stuck a big fat needle in it and drained a load of ribena out!! Well, he said that's what it looked like. I hope he didn't taste it. And then he injected it with steroids and Nick isn't allowed to walk on it for 2 days!! Drama. So he is at home right now all smug in front of the telly. And I am at work. Sigh.

SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!

NO WAY.

THEY ARE MAKING A SEQUEL TO THE DARK CRYSTAL.

Click here.

I may just have to be sick. It's called 'The Power of the Dark Crystal', and Brian Froud is still onboard for the design.

THAT'S SO COOL!!!!!!!!!

JHTM Rules

I used to love Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, it is a little bit sick though, mwah ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrr

Yes!

I don't feel so bloated today.

I went to the gym jam at lunchtime to have my 6 week check in. I have gone down from 24.9 to 24.0 % body fat! This is despite the putting on half a stone. So hopefully it is muscle after all, which is SUCH a relief. The lady also calculated how many calories I can eat a day without putting on weight and it has gone up by 20 cals!!! Hurrahs that's another half a biscuit per day without guilt! See, it is worth doing exercise for the eating of extra food that comes with it.

Reading the above back, I do come across a a shallow, weight obsessed loon don't I. Sigh.

Hiiiiiiiii ya!

Would you like another Piece of Pie M'Lord?

I have a hankering for a chicken pie. I will see if the local supermarket can deliver.

I did go to the gym - for 2 whole hours! OK half an hour of that was sitting in the lounge area eating satsumas and reading Cosmo but if they will have a comfy sitting/reading area then what do they expect!?

My weekend was mostly, apart from lurking at the gym, spent playing Resident Evil 4 and hoovering. We had a proper coal fire on Saturday! It was far too hot but still! We slowly roasted ourselves in front of it and Molly turned into a puddle of warm happy cat. There is nothing in the world as comforting as an open fire and a purring cat.

What is all this I hear about Madonna's new baby having a myspace already?

My plans tonight involve eating chicken pie, playing Resident Evil and maybe, just maybe, watching a little bit of 'I'm a celebrity, get me out of here'. Although we wll know the first episode will be a load of shit, with Ant & Dec drawing out their arrival in the jungle to the length of a full hour. It only gets good when they have to swim with leeches etc. I look forward to some celebrity blood draining action!

A morning of fuzz

I really REALLY did not want to get out of bed this morning.

My voice has dropped an octave. I sound like a man.

I am currently sat at my desk at work and yes IT'S A SATURDAY!! That, as ever, means that I have exactly zero else to do but sit here as we all know that the general public hasn't cottoned on to the fact that my office is open on a Saturday morning.

I am just planning what I am going to do when I finish, which is at 1pm. I am toying with the idea of spending an hour at the gym, as I need to wash my hair and they provide the most wonderful shampoos there. I also have to pop out and feed a friends cat, and I was contemplating starting my christmas shopping. It seems a bit keen to be doing that thought, its only November for chrissake! If Mr N is at home I will probably partake of some Resident Evil 4 with him. We are well into it now and have collected many treasure items, and have maps and guns and stuff. So far there are no zombies, just evil villagers with pickaxes and chain saws. Its a bit Deliverance.

Went out for a drink and a curry last night with SJ, Mike, Ed and another chap who I think was called Luke. Was all very nice. Earlier in the week we had Katherine & Johan round for a few drinks as she is off to London town this weekend. Johan taught Mr N to make proper Mohjitos as he used to work in Laskas and is full of cocktail knowledge. An excellent guest to have around the place, he can certainly come again.

Other things I did in the last few days include trying and failing miserably to cook a piece of plaice. It was rubbish, or rather, I was rubbish at cooking it.

I feel really really bloated. Bleurrr. Eating a big plate of curry and naan bread probably didn't help matters. Shall I go and have another cup of tea. Yes.

PS This is how I feel right now:

PPS Just inadvertanatly found a website through that picture. Check out these beauties.

I have a new thing...

.... that I find myself staring at and wondering if I am wasting my life away.

MOVING CLOCK

I found it on b3ta the other day.

Just a little while ago, before I was sat here back at my desk, I attempted to go on a viewing to a property about as far away from my office as it is possible to get on this very little island. I arrived. I had the wrong key. I left a note for the viewers and pegged it back to the office to get the correct key. I arrived back after keeping them waiting for over half an hour, they are on their lunch break and a little miffed, which is fair enough. I started to go into explaining why I had the wrong key (in a nutshell, a badly written diary entry which was entirely my fault and blah blah) but they really weren't interested. 5 minutes later my next couple to view the property arrive. In a nutshell, the house wasn't suitable for either of them and I was more than a little bit stressed by the end of it.

What is more annoying is that 9 times out of 10 I will actually double check the key before I head out the door and I remember considering doing that but I was running late so didn't bother.

I have just been googling and scaring myself on health websites, convincing myself that I have various diseases.

I'm off to eat an orange and ward off winter colds and worse!

Irish Catholic Wedding!

Howdy diddly doo dah. How annoying I am being.

Recap:

Thursday flew to Southampton and stayed the night at the in-laws

Friday Drove up to Essex to attend the Church rehearsal at 11:00. Arrived just in time. It all went OK so then we spent the afternoon helping out the groom (James) by going with him to collect the suits and carting the wine to the hotel and other bits and pieces. After a few drinks out at a local pub we went back to his flat and to bed, after he & Nick enjoyed a serious bout of the new Resident Evil game. I declined to play as every time I do I end up getting shouty.

Saturday James & Donna's big day. Helped iron the dress shirts for James, Nick and the ushers Steve and Alon. Nicks jacket split at the seam!! So I had to do some last minute sewing. I got dressed. I ended up wearing a black Spanishy sort of skirt and pink silk top from Warehouse with a baby pink wrap I borrowed from Nicks Mum and a spectacular pink hat that I borrowed from Donna. The hat was excellent. I have never worn a hat to a wedding before, it made me feel very grand.
So, then to the Church. I was sat next to Nick on the front row! (Every must have thought I was a VIP what with the hat and all.) The bride arrived looking AWESOME. In a brilliant Jordan-esque massive dress that she somehow pulled off to spectacular effect. She could hardly get down the aisle! Sparkles. It was a Catholic ceremony and the vicar was very strict. He even told Nick off when he went up with the rings for using a videocamera, in the middle of the ceremony! Donnas family are mostly Irish and Catholic.
The reception was at a nearby hotel and was all rather grand with a lovely meal, speeches and then Irish dancing with a live band. I tried to get up for a dance with Nicks Dad and our group got it totally wrong and were skipping when we were supposed to be circling and it was a complete shambles but very funny. I met a load of Nicks old mates from Southampton who were absolutely hilarious. Eventually I drank myself sober and my feet were killing me so I sloped off to watch telly and drink water while Nick kept on partying into the wee hours. Nicks speech, by the way, was very good I thought. Although he thought it wasn't.

Sunday up for breakfast then drove back to Southampton. A very lazy day.

Monday Went into Southampton town centre for some shopping in the morning then popped to Winchester for lunch and to go a craft fair (bought some very overpriced but gorgeous pate) and see Nicks sister at work. Flew back to Guernsey in the evening. Horrible flight with a full packed plane which was far too hot. Home to a very loud, whingy cat who would not leave us alone. Had a lovely hot bath and early night. Nice to be back.

Oi'm Off

I got up early and packed this morning and I'm off to Southampton. Apart from my passport and toothbrush which I have just remembered. {** writes mental note to remember these two things when gets home later}

So, anyway, went to the gym again after yesterdays evil scales results. Am now slightly suspicious of the machines there that they are making me fat/muscular and that their water machine is full of steriods. I had a bit of a workout then went for a swim but there were other people in the pool (I know, how DARE there be other people!) and it was all a bit splashy so I didn't stay long and went home. Watched a bit of Torchwood then went to bed. I know, aren't you glad you know what I did last night. I also ate some chicken and bacon with mustard and honey which I put on top of some salad and with french fries on the side. Very gastronomical.

I am a bit panicy that I have two possible outfits for this weekend's wedding but no possible coat to match either and it is worrying cold today. Its going to be even colder in Essex! I went into New Look yesterday lunchtime and they have coats for £50, a cream one and a black one which would both do, but apparentely one shouldn't wear black at weddings!? This is bad luck or something? And cream is so pale! Arrrrrrrrgh. I guess I can buy one then take it back if I change my mind. But I would wear the black one more often but it is bit weird from the back and makes my arse look funny..... and the sleeves on the cream one are slightly too short but it looks really good on..... aarrrghearkentlehtjeabykjybtttyyy. Bleh. BLeeeeeeeee. I have a runny nose as well. I might just go in there today and snot all over both coats in my frustration. That'll show em.

New stuff! New Stuff!

I have been fannying around with my blog and I have added loads more links to my favourite things for your viewing pleasure.

Scroll down and left a bit.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnyway. I weighed myself this morning and the result was tres horrifique. Barry from the gym said to me that I might put on weight during the first few weeks and not to worry because it would all be muscle but seriously! You can't expect me to be happy about this Barry. We are going to have to have words...

It might have the slightest bit to do with the fact that since I've been going to the gym I have also been eating more, telling myself its OK to have takeaways/chocolate/meals out as I am sure to burn it all off. Hmmm. Double hmmm.

PS If I have left you out of my linkie list I am sorry I forgot you. I lost my old list totally so had to do it off the top of my head. But send me your site and I'll put you on.

An hour lost!

I forgot to say, we completely forgot about the clocks going back at the weekend.

We got up in our hotel, went down to breakfast... managed to check out of the hotel after a game of scrabble in the lounge... dumped the hire car.... got to the airport check-in and NO ONE bothered to tell us. Apart from the teenager at the check in who just said "oh, you're really early". Then it hit us that we both could have stayed in bed another hour in a Sunday. Gutted.

Even more gutted to realise we had had to cut our scrabble game short to get up to the airport on time. Luckily we got the keys back for the hire car so we killed an hour in a pub in the town centre. And I nearly ran over a chicken but that's a whole other story. We ended up chatting to a rather weathered old couple from Alderney in the pub who remembered coming back to the island after the Second World War. Harsh times.

Nick is off work and he has made the house all smelly and mustysome. I got home at lunchtime and all the curtains were drawn, he was still in his dressing gown and there was a pile of VHS tapes all over the lounge floor. Men. They are so rubbish.

All - de - Knees

Hello chums. I haven't posted for a week, what a drag but work has been very busy as we had people away last week and I actually had to concentrate pretty hard on my job. But don't worry, I'm back to normal now and can daydream to my hearts content.

I had a fairly normal week with two nice meals out with various mates, then on Friday Nick whisked me off to Alderney for two nights to stay at the Braye Beach hotel. We flew in an Islander plane which was brilliant! Just like a funfair ride! And you get such amazing views of the islands as you nip across.

The hotel was gorgeous. Check out its loveliness here, mmm. We had the place to ourselves on Saturday night so they allowed us to watch whatever films we liked in their cool cinema, which was basically like something out of Cribs on MTV. Cool. Alderney is really beautiful and I loved it. Nicks knee was a complete buggeration though and he had to go for an xray this morning as it was really swollen. But we couldn't really walk anywhere so we ended up bombing along the tracks in an old Peugeot that smelt like wet dog and old ladies drawers. Fun!

Ahh, well that is all for now, I am back at work for 4 days before going off to Chigwell, Essex this coming weekend.

**Disclaimer**

I would just like to point out that I realise my spelling is bloody awful on this blog. And every now and then I read back through my previous entries and cringe. Its not because I don't know how to spell, I'm simply too lazy to spell check at the time and I'm a crap typer.

Case in Point: Vension instead of Venison in the last post? Vension sounds like it should be a proper word for something, it has a nice ring to it. Like Tension but with added bile.

I went home at lunchtime out of guilt and ironed 5 of Nick's shirts. Karma is thus partially restored.

More Fine Dining

Dontchaknow.

We tried out Christophes restaurant yesterday lunchtime. First Impression: Intimidating French sounding waiters that didn't understand that when one is hungover one cannot handle posh black tea but infact just would be happy with a mug of PG. Sigh. The food was very good, although we got a shitty comment from another one of the waiters when we announced that we wouldn't be partaking in any bottles of wine. I think from our pale/ bleak complexions he should have realised that having wine would probably kill us off.

However, the food was very nice as I said. Vension, celeriac and suchlike.

Saturday night was a bit of a mystery. I was at a party then somehow woke up the next morning in bed. Did somebody spike my drink? I have never had a total blackout induced by alchohol before. It must be the age. I felt surprisingly OK on Sunday once I had cleaned up the specks of vomit on the lounge carpet. And my only injury was a small mark on my right knee. As I say, bit of a mystery. Rachel came around on Sunday night and played me back a voicemail message I had left her at some point during my memory lapse. I am saying "hello? Hellooooo? I can't hear you? Am not drunk just my eyes and blurry...". Apparentely I didn't realise it was answerphone and was having a one sided conversation with her machine. Anyway, I'm not proud to have got that wasted and I owe Nick a lot for getting me home in one piece and leaving a saucepan by the bed for me to hurl into. Don't worry readers, I didn't sully the saucepan. Apparentely I was making people watch Heman cartoons at one point. Even when drunk I still have impeccable taste.

So folks, no more binge drinking for me. Tonight I am out again at another restaurant for a tennerfest, again. Then next weekend I am going to stay in a posh hotel in Alderney!! I've never been to Alderney. I have visions of windy hilltops, golf courses and concentration camps. But the hotel we're staying in has a cinema!! Nick has arranged it all. As I say, he is far too good for me. I couldn't even manage to iron a workshirt for him yesterday.

Lost the New Series!!

Came home last night after an hour or so pounding away at the gym to find my husband had a fantastic surprise for me. The first three episodes of Lost Season 3! As most of my readers know, I am addicted to this television show almost to the point of a religious cult. My disappointment knew no bounds 2 weeks ago when I thought I had the first episode only to find it did not play on our DVD player. The horror! The complete disappointment! So this made it all the more exciting to have the first three which we knew would work.

So after a hurriedly cooked pizza and a glass or two of wine we sat down to enjoy it. 5 minutes in and the phone goes, my Dad's partner with an annoyingly important conversation about stuff I cannot mention here. But it involved me then having to go into the internet to look something up for her and call her back. All the time with the telly on PAUSE and Nick pulling faces at me in his angst.

After all that disruption and disappointment we finally sat down and watched the first 2 episodes. We have saved the third, namely because my husband fell asleep. They were mostly about the Others and what happens to Jack, Kate & Sawyer after they are captured. There are quite a few scenes shot from the Others point of view but you are still left guessing, of course. But they are such meanies! I just want Sayid to come and kick all their asses whilst riding a polar bear and surrounded by evil black fog which he can somehow mind-control. I think I might be waiting in vain for that to happen.

This evening I have a party to go to!! And, also, I have to think about making a card for our friends wedding this afternoon. I have decided something home made would be appropriate and I am going to head to a craft shop to buy some card and sequins. I think sparkly might be the way to go, seeing as its a wedding and all.

I realise I am coming across as come kind of big geek/restaurant critic (see last post) and apologies for this.

I burnt my hand last night trying to shove pizza into the hot oven without oven gloves on, and weirdly, Nick also burnt his shoulder yesterday morning on our evil heated towel rail. So we are both suffering. Him a little more so than me.

Hooray Hooray Hooray

I have been emailing my big sister to and fro this morning and she and her husband are coming to stay with us for New Years Eve! What excellent news.

Last night we had a truly excellent meal out at the Cafe du Moulin with their tennerfest menu. Gorgeous, fabulous food and highly enjoyable. The final bill worked out at about £25 per head because they charge extra if you want 3 courses and with drinks and coffees etc it soon added up but saying that we were all more than happy to pay. Its somewhere I would definitely go again for a special occasion or maybe next years tennerfest! We got completely bloody lost finding the place but hey ho. They must be used to folk arriving late all the time because they all get lost. Bloody diversions!

I haven't got much to do this afternoon after a fairly busy morning. I finished my book the other night, the Impressionist which was a really good read. One of the better books I have read recently. I have now started on Deception Point which is the only Dan Brown I haven't read. So far so cheesy and fast paced. My friend Rachel likens his books to Bruce Willlis movies, quite simple but highily enjoyable every now and then.

I'm going to go now and think of things to organise for New Years Eve. Ciao Bella!

Gah - stupid blog

I wrote an entire blog entry yesterday and my blog ate it.

Had a lovely evening last night around at my friend SJ's house. She had a masseuse come around and we all took it in turns to have 30min massages. Bliss. Along with garlic bread, pizza and rose wine, what more could a girl want? And she worked out the knot in my shoulder which is amazing.

Tonight we are off to try a tennerfest, I will report back if its any good!

I have been onto the history matters website and recorded a day of my life from 17th October. If anyone has some free time it is a really interesting project and I would urge you to join in. All you have to do is write what happened to you on that day and they keep a record of it.

Green Fingers

I've planted some daffodil and narsissus bulbs in amonst all along the cat-shitty borders in my garden. I wonder if they will sprout, and if they do, will they smell of poo? I figured that cat poo is a good sort of thing so I'm utilising it as a fertilizer. There were a couple of crisp white ones that I lobbed over into next doors wasteland with my trowl - don't tell! Its an overgrown building site so they'll never know.

Also, I successfully looked after the dog. It survived, and my Dad and his partner brought me a gift of some yummy French pates to say thankyou.

I spent the weekend eating lots of food, sleeping and watching lots of telly with Rachel. We watched the Japanese original version of 'The Grudge' (verdict: scary- don't watch it! It freaked me out good and proper.) A My Little Pony film and the Heman/Shera film, which was EPIC!!! So so cool. We also watched the last Jane Eyre which was lovely.

All in all, a good weekend. And hubby's back tonight after the stag party.

Acheivement of the Week

On Tuesday night I learnt me how to give an injection to a dog! My folks are away this weekend so I am in charge of not letting their half blind, hoarse, diabetic, smelly old spaniel die. This means injecting him every 12 hours and administering special amounts of food periodically.

(I love him really, apart from when he farts/slobbers on me.)

Anyway, it was lots of fun and I got to tap at the needle first like in Casualty to check for air bubbles. You can kill someone like that you know if there are air bubbles. I remember it from a Christopher Pike book.

In other news, Nick is off to Budapest tonight for this stag weekend, complete with his still swollen knee! He has an elastic bandage thing to wrap around it. And I had three people compliment me on my Warehouse coat yesterday when I wore it. Money well spent then!

My First Birthday

I've been blogging for a year! I surely deserve this rather pixillated Sponebob Squarepants birthday cake.

Go me.

In other me-related news. I am going to my Dad's for spag bol tonight, mmmmmm. He makes it so well. And I have treated myself to 2 things from Amazon today, the new Scissor Sisters CD (I know I can get it free on their myspace but I love them and I want a proper tangible object to fondle!) and also the old feature length Heman/Shera film, 'The Secret of the Sword'. Anyone wanted to disown me now may do so freely. But I love it and I don't care. I've wanted it for ages. Have also been thinking about getting some Monty Python box sets as they are so so good but its a bit of an unjustifiable expense. We'll see.

I'm also getting my wild hair tamed on Saturday, a good old chop and colour job, haven't been since before the wedding at the start of July so its allowed. I spent a depressing lunch hour feeling hideous in Monsoon yesterday sqeezing into dresses and having to wrestle them off again in the changing rooms so I need a boost. Since going to the gym I think I have put ON weight. Not fair. I haven't got an outfit yet for James & Donna's wedding in less than a months time. Well, I have my new Warehouse coat but at the moment I'll be wearing that and nothing else. Which could work if it was a fetish themed wedding but I think her family's Roman Catholic.

Nicks knee is still sore and he's off to Budapest on Thursday night for a stag weekend (the same guys whose wedding we're off to) .... Oh dearie me.

Greatest Quiz Ever

Click on ME for hours of stress. If you haven't seen this already, may I introduce you. Warning: It's very annoying. I have got all but 2 of them and the final 2 are driving.... me..... MAD!!

Arse and Lost Season 3

Yes, its a Saturday and yes I am working again and yes with a hangover. How history repeats itself. There is an irony in here somewhere... I can feel it.

What was I saying? Well its not really a bad hangover as I didn't drink all that much. I had the most surreal evening last night, it really was quite bizarre. I think I shall recount the story to you.

It started off after work quite well with a quick trip to the gym with SJ who has also joined up. We had a lovely swim.

Then Nick had told me we were going to his mates flat for a meal (a girl who he works with and her boyfriend) and they were picking us up at 7. It's about 6:45 when he announces that we are, in fact, being picked up but NOT being taken to their place. Instead it appeared that I was being taken to a persons house who was an old work colleague and now retired. Apparently it was to have one drink there before going back for a meal at theirs. All quite normal. They told me he had been asking for ages for them to pop round so tonight we were all going en masse for a quick drink but with the excuse that we have to go back for a meal so can't stay for long.

We arrive through a large gated entry - I think, this is a rather big house. He must be well off? No. Its an old peoples home. We are met by a foreign lady (who I am not introduced to) and she walks us around the grounds to a far flung cricket pavillion, in which we find our old fellow. He is sat there in blazing spotlights with a middle aged lady and a youngish lad in a suit. Laid out on two circular tables are about 60 bottles of red and white wine, a bucket load of crisps plus various twix bars and marshmallows. It is all a bit strange. I am introduced. We sit down. We suss out the situation and decide the only thing for it is to get cracking on the wine. Are we the first to arrive and there are lots more people coming? In fact, two more people come. We sit around, not knowing anyone but getting steadily drunker by the minute shivering as I expected to be sat in some cosy old mans lounge and am dressed in a little lightweight shirt. The carer brings me a cricket jumper. I decide this looks good on me and later on go home with it. From what I can suss he was expecting a lot more people to turn up and none of them had come. So we sit around until about 9pm until the host announces that he is off to a pub for a meal and we are turfed out.

Then we go back to our friends house for a lovely tapas style meal with lots of yummy interesting food and wine. We stayed there drinking and chatting until about 11:30 when we ordered a taxi to go into town to join a town pub crawl for a mates 30th birthday. But while running towards the taxi in the dark Nick tripped over a low carpark chain and went flying on the concrete. I won't go into the details of how horrible that was to see him go flying like that but we had to go straight home and his knee is pretty busted up and he was in agony. I put ice on it and gave him painkillers and put him to bed but today its still pretty painful. We might have to go to the doctors later on.

Oooh my Dad has just popped into the office and distracted me from my story! He's gone again now. That's OK, I think I was pretty much at the end anyway.

PS. For all the Lost addicts out there, I have the first episode of Season three. I have only watched the first 2 minutes but OH........ MY........ GOD. Looks good. Watching the rest tonight.

My Pooters being a Bugger

It keeps kicking me out of blogger but I'm HERE NOW and it's not getting rid of me.

Anyway, thankyou for those ideas. I have joined Whyguernsey.com and will have a play on it when I have a quiet little moment. Also that book sounds interesting so will give that a go. Actually, I have started reading an excellent book that I discovered gathering dust in Oxfam the other day. It's called The Impressionist and it's by Hari Kunzru and well, anyway, its very very good and 10/10 so far.

Anyone catch the new Cracker last night? I was a die hard fan of the old series and I must say I was a mite disappointed by the new episode last night, but saying that Robbie Coltrane still rocked.

I'm just kicking my heels waiting around for a 5:30 viewing and as it's gone 5pm I refuse to do any actual work. Tonight we're gym-ing and Christies-ing for Aimees birthday.

Oh yeah, on Saturday I had a finger prick and had my glucose, cholesterol and blood pressure tested. Woooooooo! I am very healthy apparentely. Somehow a diet of Mars bars and pasta bakes has made me a very healthy girl! I also stayed in on Friday night when Nick went with Ben who was back just for the one night. But I made it out to the Cornerstone on Sat to see Isla & Gary. Apart from that I slept, did housework and watched telly all weekend. Go me. Didn't get as wasted as lat weekend, have decided to be a shining example of moderation from now on.

Ahh tis twenty past and I have to go up Valnord.... bye bye